I smell sex in the air

That's true. But for some people who never had it before, they choose to do it with air and actually enjoy doing it so much that they make it a competition so that people who might be called losers for not getting sex, still have the chance of getting crowned as a sex champion...an air sex champion.

"There's a huge gap between those who can get sex and those who can't in Japan. So, in the middle, we have air sex"

Totally makes sense kan? Why can't Malaysians be the first to think of such ideas? I'm sure we have the same gap issue in Malaysia, but only worse. Even if you can get sex, there's still risk of getting caught. We recently read about how religious enforcement officers are getting better at showing their concerns toward premarital sex activity, especially in Cyberjaya. Watch out, Foursquare users in Cyberjaya.

"Apa gunanya kami menjadi jabatan agama Cyberjaya jika tidak menggunakan teknologi IT yang sedia ada. Kami mengumpul pengkalan data pasangan-pasangan yang berada di Cyberjaya sejak setahun lalu. Kami menggaji seorang pakar IT untuk mencipta perisian yang akan memberitahu kami bila pasangan-pasangan ini CHEK-IN ke rumah masing-masing secara berdua-duaan. Setakat ini sudah ada 13 pasangan yang berjaya kami tangkap menggunakan teknik ini"


"Saya belajar di Malaysia kerana mahu melarikan dari polis moral yang banyak di negara saya. Buat apa saya terbang jauh-jauh dari Tehran jika di Malaysia pun saya tak boleh nak berzina sesuka hati? Ini tidak adil. Malaysiapun sudah menjadi teokrasi macam negara saya kah? Sejak saya mendengar ura-ura mereka menggunakan Foursquare untuk menangkap pasangan kekasih saya tidak lagi berani nak check-in. Akibatnya sekarang saya hilang 7 mayorship Rumah Urut Happy Ending, Hotel Cheong Cheong, Rumah Tumpangan Ah Kow dan 4 rumah kekasih gelap saya. Ini sucks! Di Rumah urut Happy Ending kalau jadi mayor dapat 2 happy ending for the price of one"

Gotta love the honesty of this Iranian student who came to Malaysia to run away from the strict moral rules in his country. I'd be pissed too if I were him. Penat2 come to this seemingly more liberal country only to find out that he still can't freely have sex. I bet he'll fly back to Iran if Malaysia continues to disappoint him and make him lose his mayorships (what a term) in massage parlors and hotels.

Pandai pulak I digress..

Anyway, these Japanese gf-less, horny dudes can come up with anything to calm their sex-deprived souls. Essentially, you go on stage, choose a music clip and have sex with an imaginary partner. Perfect opportunity for you to act out your wildest sexual fantasy, to show people how you normally do it (if you're so damn proud of your style), to show off the best you've had or to win people's sympathy by acting out the worst that had been done to you.

The creator said "If there are no children being born because we're all having air sex, we will become extinct". You worry too much, man. As if there's even a 1% chance that this will happen. As long as there are rich, powerful and/or (can't help but notice that "and" is too idealistic..but let's just keep it that way) handsome men, real sex will stay alive and women wouldn't mind poking holes in the condom just to make sure they get pregnant with the men's babies...because we simply love being mothers. *fakeness setinggi klcc*

(Have to point out that the dubbing voice for the lady is soo weird that it's almost disturbing to me. Aku yg berdosa can do a 136 times better job than that.)

openly faking orgasm
Oh yeah. This is the only occasion where you'll get applause and cheers for faking orgasms (in fact, you're not even allowed to reach real climax), pretending you're the best blowjob giver, acting like you have explosive sexual energy etc.

Very much into grabbing and licking

Air sex competition USA, 2007

Contestants who berjaya to catch my attention: the lady giving bj at 1:02 and red shirt dude at 1:09. Didn't like that the video focused on the guy in high-rise pants at 1:55 for such a long time

Air Sex Championship New York City (interview with the promoter/host, performers, judges, creator)

Highlight of the video: "Air erection..the size of Kansas". I wonder how that feels like.

Air sex championship in Brooklyn, New York

No particularly useful advice. Just commit, be ridiculous and have fun.

Peer Pressure, kononnye the first air f**ing group. It's pretty lame actually and I don't even know why they see the need to form a group for this. Tak de kerjaaa. Names pon pelik2 and kurang class: Relentless, X2C, Pipelayer, Pressure, Satisfaktion. Siap ada credits lagi..

Check out the official site for this championship for rules, more photos (here too), videos and schedules. If you happen to be in town, just swing by and be a sporting audience or even cooler, be an awesome contestant. Make us proud. Oh btw, if you're thinking of watching one of the championships as an alternative for going to strip clubs, just forget about it. Contestants aren't allowed to be naked. Aww.

Sparks fly
If air sex is like air guitar, is it too much to expect a PS/Wii/Xbox version of err...sex band hero with complete training, battle and world tour mode?

Collecting sign-ups for people interested in joining the first air sex enthusiasts meeting in Malaysia,
aku yg tak insaf

1 comment:

  1. hmmm... gf-less.. enforcement officers fake software... mayorships... macam2...

    aku pun blum insaf


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