Men, Women and Semen

If you're expecting a Valentine's special post this week, you'll be hugely disappointed. We are not followers of the Saint Valentine and it's meaningless to celebrate it  unless somebody declares Valentine's Day as a public holiday in Malaysia. You have my sympathy if your gf insists on making it a special day, expecting gifts,  surprises and whatnot. We are so not the gewdik and skema type. Unfortunately for one of our friends though, her gf (yeah, it's not a typo. it's a her and her gf alright.) woke up one morning...probably 2 weeks before the big day, and asked my friend in a manja tone "what's the plan for Valentine's?". Kaboomz. My friend terus fell to the 8th floor of hell. She never made a big deal out of the V day when she dated other men and totally didn't see that coming. She must have forgotten she's dating a girl now. Haiz.

Oh btw, nak show off a bit, can? One of our fans made a FB page for us. Well, sort of. The page was called Aku yg tak insaf at first but later he changed it to Aku yg tak berdosa. I'm not quite sure why but it's still a page inspired by us okay. If you like this blog, me, aku yg berdosa, or all of the above, check this out and boleh tak jangan malu2 to like? There's nothing scandalous on that page (at least not yet), so don't worry about people judging you by the blog you read.

Banyak pulak nonsense in the intro. Lemme give you a present to make it up..

semen  & aku yg berdosa's hand


I'll be honest and admit that I don't know much about semen. I basically collected information from a bunch of websites, selected a few that are slightly more interesting (= less medical and scientific) and just pour them all into this post. So, if you're already an expert in this topic or if you're looking for something erotic, feel free to skip this post.
 
Taste
"Fruits like kiwi, watermelon, celery, and pineapple are all said to make semen taste lighter. Beer and coffee are believed to have something of an opposite effect, and could leave her with a bitter taste. Alkaline-based foods like meat and fish produce a buttery taste, while acidic fruits (cranberries, blueberries and plums) produce a pleasant, sugary flavor. Most liqueurs will do the same, while dairy products can make for a foul taste because of their high bacterial putrefaction levels" (http://www.askmen.com/dating/dzimmer_100/117_love_answers.html)

Don't worry if you happen to like the food that would supposedly make your semen taste bad. You can be playful and ask your girl to guess what you ate for dinner from your semen. Call it a quiz, game, or whatever...as long as you can get away with eating your favorite food and not pissing your girl off because of the awful taste of your semen


Health & Family Planning
"semen spurs ovulation and makes women feel happier. Compared with women who 'always' or 'usually' used condoms, those who "never" did, whose vaginas were exposed to semen, showed significantly better mood--fewer depressive symptoms, and less bouts of depression. In addition, compared to women who had no intercourse at all, the semen-exposed women showed more elevated mood and less depression." (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/201101/attention-ladies-semen-is-antidepressant)



Scientific alasan for guys to not wear plastic bag. I don't know if I'd sacrifice safety for pleasure. I guess if I'm depressed to the core, I'd consider allowing my partner in without condoms.  


"Absolutely considered and validated by medical science, rare cases of women have been recorded to experience hypersensitivity towards seminal fluids. This condition is medically known as human seminal plasma hypersensitivity. Symptoms may either be localized or systemic depending on the body response of the woman’s antigen and the amount of seminal fluid that entered the body. Manifestations include vaginal itching, redness, blisters, and sometimes, even difficulty of breathing." (http://healthmad.com/addiction/weird-facts-about-semen)

I suspect aku yg berdosa might be one of the few to have this condition. She's hypersensitive to my gentle and sensual touch. Always get undesirable overreaction when I give her a surprise touch here and there. That's why I can totally imagine every inch of her body responding to semen, in a bad way.  


Myths, superstitions, weirdness...
"In ancient times Egyptian men considered masturbation and production of semen to be acts of God, and even attributed the ebb and flow of the Nile River to demand masturbation amongst villagers. Pharaohs were required to masturbate and dump into the Nile River" (http://theirtoys.com/sexblog/10-little-known-facts-about-semen.html).

Haha. Anything in the name of god. Guys, go la masturbate and dump your thing into Sg. Rajang. It won't flow without your contribution. Even the pharaohs had to do it, apa lagi commoners like you and me?


"From Strickland-Bosavi region, Papua New Guinea, the tribe called Etoro believes that semen provides sexual maturation among the younger men of their tribe. Anthropologists have branded the tribe with notorious remarks of homosexuality. According to their practice, younger men of their tribe need to drink their elders’ semen in order to achieve sexual maturity. To them, semen possesses the manly nature of the tribal elders, and in order to pass down their authority and powers, young men of their next generation must drink their elders’ semen." (http://healthmad.com/addiction/weird-facts-about-semen)

Pandai2 je make all these rules and design practices just so they can see the young flesh gulp down their semen. It's like telling younger women to lick older women's breasts in order for the young's breasts to grow and pass down their motherly warmth. When can I become the leader of a tribe and make mengada rules like that?


Misc
"Semen with its high protein has also become a main ingredient in quite a few beauty products, Asia and other parts of the world have begun using semen in hair conditioner, face wash, and even lip balm" (http://theirtoys.com/sexblog/10-little-known-facts-about-semen.html)

Patut laaa I'm addicted to using lip balm even when my lips are not that dry. I wonder if aku yg berdosa's hair sometimes smells funny because she didn't wash her hair or perhaps she's using a Hi-protein shampoo/conditioner.



"Diet, exercise and frequency of sex can all dictate how thick or watery your emissions are, as can the tightness of the clothes that you wear (tight clothing will increase body temperature and can, thus, impact sperm motility)". (http://www.askmen.com/dating/dzimmer_100/117b_love_answers.html)

Hah. Finally a strong, valid reason to persuade guys not to wear skinny jeans. Do you really want to sacrifice your sperms' swimming ability just to look pretty? Aku yg berdosa has a lot more to say about men in skinny jeans. It's one of the many things that bother her now (#1 being those untamed hair and unnecessary facial hair).

"Semen can stain. It should always be washed in cold water" (http://theirtoys.com/sexblog/10-little-known-facts-about-semen.html)

Promise of a lifetime. This should be included in wedding vows. 

A poster for everyone:
popjolly.com

yang don't know how to deal with the lazy self,
aku yg tak insaf

1 comment:

  1. fyi ~ dah update http://www.facebook.com/pages/Die-Die-Must-Love/104487382962613 silakan tgk hehehe

    ReplyDelete

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