Solution

Lately, I've been too tired to think about sex. I still think about this blog, just not sex. If my man can't perform in bed because of his crazy workload, I think I might be his understanding lady and allow him to love me less.

Then again, it's hard to picture myself becoming that kind of woman. I expect too much from people. If you can't concentrate, don't initiate a conversation. If you can't give me your whole self, don't offer me your heart (or dick). Once you decide you have what it takes to become a victim of my possessiveness, there's no turning back. Friends and lover(s) alike. 

Totally unrelated: yesterday I passed by a kedai urut in the shopping mall. Written on the poster:

Foot   RMxx/hour
Body  RMxx/hour
Soul   RMxx/hour

Soul...soul?! How do you urut someone's soul? Serious amazing. Should have checked with the staffs wth is that. Nevermind. Dekat je. I'll go back one day and check that out. If they berjaya to find my long-lost soul, I don't mind paying 30 or 40 to have it massaged too.

hoping soul massage will be as best as this

Another weird stumbleupon: Neuro-gasm

NeuroGasm® is a delicious, lightly carbonated drink formulated with ingredients to promote "playful" energy. So often our hectic lifestyles deprive us of the energy needed to engage in various activities. NeuroGasm provides ingredients at effective dosage levels supplying energy for all the playful activities you choose.  Included in NeuroGasm is the synergistic combination of caffeine and L-theanine. Caffeine and L-theanine are ingredients found in green tea; in conjunction they provide energy without the edginess commonly associated with caffeine alone. Other NeuroGasm nutrients include Alpha GPC, Phosphatidylserine and a full range of B-vitamins. NeuroGasm provides energy for whatever activity you have in mind. 

Sounds exactly like what I need nowadays. The energy to be playful. I have no activity, playful or not, in mind. I don't even have nafsu for food. I still eat but I don't fantasize about food anymore. When I have some alone time at the end of the day, I just feel like sitting and mindlessly scrolling through pictures. Yep, pictures. Static and motionless, just like me. I don't even have the capacity to handle videos.

When the long weekend's finally here, I thought I regained some energy and have nafsu for something: movies with a group of men doing stupid things that can make me laugh. How I miss The Big Lebowski, Super Troopers and The Hangover. By the time I finished buying the dvds, I quickly realized that I was tired again and not that excited to watch those movies anymore. Now the dvds are still lying inside the black plastic bag untouched. Damn. I really need to be playful and think about sex again. Tahi la.

Before I can use some Neurogasm to give me the energy to do something playful, I need to reinstall the playful activities gadget in my system. Any product that can help me with that?

I think I need this....

this...

this....

and this....

all of them here....

with myself, of course. It'll be a little crampy for a party of 5, but I guess they won't mind, coz I certainly don't.

Ahhhhhhh...life's full of hope again. Turning me on is as simple as this.

Or if you happen to be my type, I'll turn into a switch with automatic sensor -- you just need to walk by and I'll be automatically turned on.

easily satisfied,
aku yg tak insaf

Get a Grip

I hate exercising and I don't like men who are too obsessed about gymming and working out. Muscles should come by naturally from doing regular physical work like water well drilling, wood chopping, house maintenance etc.

Ok fine. These aren't that regular. I'll never find a man who wears suits and knows how to do all those things.

Never mind. I don't really care if he wears suits. I favor men in white tshirt and jeans (untucked).

Forget it. I actually prefer guys to be naked.

How beautiful. The shadows of the blinds make him look like a zebra, but still he's a gorgeous zebra. Geram.

Anyway, a few videos of men doing some kind of manual work. So ridiculous they make me laugh. Only one of them is for real. See for yourself.







Hilariously hideous. Life's miserable without ridicule and someone to care for your sexual well-being....

stomach's full of soup,
aku yg tak insaf

Discreet Aid

Not looking forward to Monday. Don't know about aku yg berdosa. I for sure am not excited about leading the life of an adult. I hope after this, I'll still feel young/childish and wild enough to do something as useless as writing a sex blog. Not really useless but when people know about this blog, their first impression is almost always "you've got nothing better to do". Ya, so what? I can afford to waste time on this. Biar la me.

I wish I can still say the same a few months from now. Don't wanna grow up and become a sensible adult. Tak nak. 

(Too moody to think of reasonable transition)

****************

Handzoff Anti-Masturbatory Gum

 
“We know nature's urges can arise at the most inappropriate of times. That's where HandzOff Anti-Masturbatory Gum comes in handy. When you've got the fire down low and must say no -- chew HandzOff instead. Two handz off chews offer 4 to 6 hours of relief.  You may chew up to 120 pieces daily as needed."

God bless your jaws don't get dislocated after chewing 120 freaking pieces of this gum. One of the most senseless sex products. (don't) Get it here

Another meaningless but slightly more macho gadget...

Nasa Scope Sperm Microscope

Use the various lens to get a maximum magnification of 1200 times and REALLY get to know how your body works. This set includes not only the powerful yet novice-friendly microscope, but also samples for you to test out your scientific skills before you get more personal.

Come on. Do you REALLY need to know how your body fluid looks like at 1200x super close-up? I bet you do. US$137 sahaja. Investment of a lifetime baby.

Boys, your toys are too childish. Take a look at the ones designed for us. Much more sophisticated and refined.

The Duet USB Vibrator

Watch the inventors talk about the product.



"Women are afraid of buying batteries because they're afraid that people would look at them as if they're buying batteries for their vibrator"

Tak pernah takut pun. Other than this afraid-to-buy-battery theory, this thing looks pretty promising. I'd buy one, provided no one will ever notice I'm using the same stick to satisfy myself and store my presentation slides. Details about the vibrator and the other options (almost like buying iphone and buddies)

Last one for today..

Liptrick

Not afraid to admit, I want this. Of course there's the risk of either staining my vaginal lips with the real lipstick or overstimulating the lips on my face with this pirated lipstick. But I don't care. I want it. It's a vibrator by the way. From Booty Parlor

pre-Monday blues,
aku yg tak insaf