The Void

I've listed down a list of excuses for my inexcusable absence here, but that'll make for a long-winded entry. So.

Keeping this short and simple, what is sex for other than to make babies / occupy time?

I give you 10 seconds to make a list of 10 reasons. Please leave your answer in the comment box below.


PS. If you're not doing it, then you might as well read about it:

In which a cancer patient would rather die than not have sex 

In which two married Singaporeans have no idea what sex is after 12 years of marriage

In which Canadian ladies are not choosy of semen 

In which these female bloggers are more attention seeking than us

In which guys can use this excuse for boob-slapping

And if you want to be doing it here's how not to go about it:

Flirting at the office

Yes, let's. 

AYB.

Pepeliks IV

Japan Erection (Tsunami style)

Can this Japanese dude be any weirder? Tak pasal2 wear a strap-on giant penis inspired by his country (if you failed Geography, check out how Japan looks like on the map), make, tape, and upload a WTH stunt like this. He's weird, but we're dumb -- dumb enough to spend 2 mins watching this ridiculous show. Hopeless betul.


Soup for Sluts Ramen

Not bad English or Packaging Fail. Sluts are indeed cheap, fast and easy, just like instant noodles. If your favorite hobby is having one-night stand, keep some of these in your drawer and give it to your disposable sex partner. Then you won't have to worry about her clinging on you, when you want nothing else but for her to leave after a pleasurable (or not) night. Anyway, whether you love sluts or you happen to be a slut, you can get the ramen here for $2.99 (Note: per packet). Now who says it's cheap?


Vagina Tent



I wanna guess this is another Japanese creation but the apartment's size is H U G E for their standard. It's creepy, but I'd love to go camping and have sex in the tent, then crawl out like a baby with my man. How cute. (btw, what's up with the cheerful background music?!)


Indonesian Groom Turns Out to be Woman 
[source]

'The suspicion became bigger as her heavy voice suddenly changed into a female one,' said local police chief Krisnandi. 

In order to save face the bride's parents found their daughter’s ex-boyfriend and convinced him to step in and marry her.

Hmm. Someone will marry me and find out I'm actually a man. Look out for the news.

You ni M or F?

yang pening,
aku yg tak insaf

4 Rings of Love

[Alvy and Annie are seeing their therapists at the same time on a split screen]
Alvy Singer's Therapist: How often do you sleep together?
Annie Hall's Therapist: Do you have sex often?
Alvy Singer: [lamenting] Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week.
Annie Hall: [annoyed] Constantly. I'd say three times a week. 

~ From Annie Hall (1977)

Classic, but not always the case. Recently, a French woman divorced and demanded compensation from husband for their 21 years of undersex marriage. The judge granted and ordered the poor man to pay £8,500 for her loss. Kesian. Dah la his reason for failing to provide bedroom entertainment is because of "tiredness and health problems". You can imagine what it is la kan? Triple misfortune - lose woman, lose money and lose face.

“A sexual relationship between husband and wife is the expression of affection they have for each other, and in this case it was absent. By getting married, couples agree to sharing their life and this clearly implies they will have sex with each other.” ~the judge

Ideally, yes that should be the case. But how many couples still have passionate sex to show their affection after 5, 10, 20 years of marriage? I'd guess by 5 years into marriage, most couples have sex either to make babies, to pass time, or they've got nothing to say to each other. This lady asked for a divorce and claimed it's solely the husband's fault but do you seriously think she didn't have a single affair during those sexless years? Macam impossible je. How about this uncle is a gay and he's just being true to himself? Can't blame him also. But it's okay, things happen for a reason and a divorce might not be a disaster after all; You never know what's in it for you. Sometimes divorce means better sex.....

.....but sometimes it means more ridiculous spending on top of all the other things you need to pay to get away from the person who was once your cayunk.

An 18 karat gold divorce ring. Oh yea, this is the ring to celebrate (?) the end of your love affair -- engagement ring -> wedding ring -> suffering -> divorce ring. This divorce ring created by Spritzer and Furman costs US$3,200. A diamond dagger that splits the golden heart. How cruel. I know nothing about jewelery but the gold part looks kinda fake. Almost looks like a toy that lives inside a Kinder Bueno chocolate egg. Seriously, who would buy this? Not me definitely, I don't even want a wedding ring. Could be perfect for aku yg berdosa who tak habis-habis nak contract marriage. She can wear this ring to announce everytime her contract ends. Babe, since dah beli, might as well kahwin a few more times, baru la berbaloi. $3,200..worth how many karaoke sessions eh? Probably can perform Kau Yang Bernama Seri 800,000 times kot.

Also redundant, is this wedding ring coffin. If marriage is the tomb of love, can divorce bring you back to life or make you dig deeper into your love grave? I'd guess the latter, but what do I know?

Give a dead marriage its proper, final resting place. The Wedding Ring Coffin is the perfect gift for yourself or a loved one for bringing closure after a divorce. It’s time to... 

Bury the past and move on to a new tomorrow

When a marriage dies, what should be done with the wedding ring? Until now, millions of wedding rings have been banished to remote corners of sock and underwear drawers. Now you can give these wedding rings the proper final resting place they deserve.

No matter how they rationalize or sugercoat their marketing messages, this is just another unnecessary purchase for a dying (or dead) relationship. The only good news is, it costs only $35. Tak tau la kan..maybe your rationality died together with your marriage and you feel like you really need this to pull you through, then who am I to stop you from being ridiculous? Oh well, at least if you get this coffin instead of the stupid ring, you won't hate yourself as much when you wake up from the nightmare and regain your logical mind.

Check out other colors and designs here. Go ahead and get whatever you want, but don't lemme find out or you'll get an ice-cold laugh from me.

Be thankful if you're currently happily in love and/or married. You're lucky that's for sure, but not as lucky as her....



Incapable of loving,
aku yg tak insaf

Jangan Nakal-Nakal

Uno: 

Creepy finger placement. Mila Kunis at a photocall for Friends with Benefits in Berlin. (July 29, 2011) [Source]

Dos: 

Sad, creepy and weird story of a guy who ejaculated into his coworker's tumblr. The girl discovered his semen in it after she sent her drinking water for a DNA test. Lallana "felt that was as close as he could get" to the 29-year-old executive assistant, said Deputy District Attorney Brock Zimmon. [Read More Here]

The 32-year old from Fullerton admitted that he ejaculated into an "attractive" co-worker's water bottle because "her lips had touched it." 

This is a reminder to us all, tolong jangan leave your botol air sesuka hati! Also, don't think I can't find you if you've ejaculated into my water. Yucks.

Also lazy, 

Aku Yg Berdosa

Mice & Easy

Amboi ATI. Hidup lagi you ye! Where did you go?! My online messages tak balas, my SMS pun tak balas. Thank God I checked this blog today, despite kelajuan internet I yang sangat tak memberangsangkan. Thank you sebab ade mention I in your post, menunjukkan that you still haven't forgotten me yet *sedih*. Namun I nak clarifykan lah kan, your tuduhan is only 50% betul je. Although it is true that I have no life right now, I still have drafts lined up okay! I takkan pernah lupakan blog ini! *Drama*

Not that you people care anyway, right? Di bulan yang mulia ni, I'm sure korang busy mengawal nafsu and melayan dugaan yang datang dalam bentuk sirap bandung, cendol, agar-agar milo, bubur cha-cha, ayam percik... dan lain-lain kan? Ha... duduk depan laptop tu Kak Jah. Jangan nak pegi bukak peti ais eh! Habiskan bace post ni dulu.

*Clears throat* 

It seems that this month is not only important for Muslims - according to the Ethnic Chinese lunar calendar, this coming Saturday will be the day to celebrate Valentine's Day (in Taiwan at least). As reported in Malaysia Chronicle, crowds of singles have already been observed at the Xiahai City God temple in Taipei, where they pray to the God of Matchmaking. Apparently akak-akak and abang-abang datang from all over the world to make sure that they will have someone to spend time with. Contohnye, this one Japanese tourist who said, dengan nada yang agak urgent,

"I read guidebook about Taipei. And according to the guidebook, this place is good for love, so I come here. I need a boyfriend." 

Cara untuk make your wish to the God, according a staff referred to as Wu: "You need to tell the God your name, birth date, address and what kind of person you're looking for. If you already have someone in mind, then pray for the relationship to go smoothly." Wah so sistematik. Address pun dia take note. Macam boleh caya je! Tapi dengan bangganya, Wu ni cakap, temple tu dah couplekan lebih 50,000 abangs and akaks in the past 10 years. Iyelah~

"according to chinese folklore, the matchmaking god Yue Xia Lao (月下老) ties a string around the ankles of people destined to be soulmates. the two people connected by a red string of fate (紅線) are destined lovers, regardless of time, place, or circumstances. the string may tangle or stretch but never break." [source]

The most LOL was this comment from an anonymous abang: "Since I'm busy with work, so I'm hoping the God of Matchmaking can help me find a nice girl." Wonder siapa yang akan kena tied to him. Kesian if the girl jenis superglue and takkan dapat attention because of his busy-ness. 

But back to ATI -- don't tell me you tak angkat my calls sebab you're actually in Taiwan? 


To me, I don't think single life is all that bad. Females especially, takyah nak risau sangat that you will be condemned to a foreveralonetanpalelaki life, because now scientists have discovered a way to make sperm. ATI memang confirm la tak payah nak risau, since she is easily approached by men, terutamanya Middle Easterners *TRUE STORY more on this later*. The only drawback is that dorang belum cuba the experiment on humans yet, baru guna mice je. But it was so successful with the mice, that they are confident yang ada harapan for this to work on other mammals. Tapi kalau only work on mice pun, ATI still at an advantage jugak (inside joke but I will tell if you ask). Damn lucky her.


Yg makin gemuk even though puasa, 
Aku Yang Berdosa

Pepeliks III

The Pepelik series is back, not due to popular demand though. Our blog readers semua segan2 and baik2. Tak pernah ada any kind of request, suggestion or demand. It's okay. I understand. I pun pendiam jugak.

Let's see what headlines make into our list (Note: Some of these are a little outdated. Dah lama simpan in the storeroom. Also pictures are not necessarily related to the contents.):

1. California (March): Rooftop sex in broad daylight.

Da bomb: it's a building on campus
 
Read the story here.

2. Germany (May): Female flasher can't be prosecuted, unless proved to be sexually aroused during the act

Oh yeah. You can never tell if we're aroused, faking orgasm or having the best sex ever. Women are invincible.

Read the story here.

3. Budapest (May): Insurance company held an orgy party to reward high achievers.

Obviously this isn't the picture that goes with the news. But the message is clear. Some, if not most, men are pigs. Anyway, it's a cool reward. Now I'm not sure if I prefer $ or sex for my year-end bonus. Aaaaaaa~~~dilemma

Read the story here.

4. Berlin (April) Sex toy triggers police alert

It's like kids calling the police when they hear moans & groans outside their parents' bedroom, thinking dad's hurting mum.

Read the story here.

5. Florida (July): Transgender students now have the option to be roommates with either gender

showing off their bikini tan lines

Untungggg. Nak become transgender so that I can room with a guy, ideally a handsome one of course.

Read the story here.

6. Germany (July): Hitler ordered sex dolls for his troops to prevent catching diseases from hookers

He's a tyrant, but you can't deny he's an understanding leader. Where to find a boss like him? I want male escorts to prevent myself from becoming clingy to a man (one of the biggest problems aku yg berdosa's facing now. Somebody help her, please)

Read the story here.

7. Oslo (June): Couples arrested for having sex in the middle of a service in Oslo Cathedral

"We had to pay a small fine or spend 16 days in jail. We chose the former because we didn't want to spend so long without having sex." Damn. Macho. Who's willing to impress me by doing the same thing in Malaysia?

Read the story here.

8. China (July): PhD Husband & Masters Wife clueless about sex

beware: baring like this can make you pregnant...kot

"Prior to their marriage, the couple did not dare hold hands and kiss as they thought the woman would get pregnant by doing so". Now I see why the pencegah maksiat group exists. It's for our own good. We'll get pregnant if we baring on our bf's lap in klcc park or by tasik titiwangsa. Macam tu rupanye. 

Read the story here.

Who's in the mood for some orange juice?



most pelik of all,
aku yg tak insaf

Educational Stimulation

It is not very often that one can turn on their laptop and get shaken off their seats (yes, pun very intended). But this was what happened to me when I heard of what happened to Northwestern University's diligent human sexuality course students. The 600-student class taught by Professor John Michael Bailey, a man of controversy himself, is now facing media scrutiny after Bailey held a live sex demonstration on campus during an optional extracurricular evening session for his course. The 120 lucky students who attended were shown the whole deal, from arousal, to penetration, to playful times with a sex toy referred to as The "Fucksaw"(please imagine Morgan Freeman's voice saying that). The kinky machine was manned by an unnamed female model who "grabbed the mic - and explained that she had a fetish for being watched by large crowds while having an orgasm" according to one Sean Lavery, a mere freshman (first year student) at NU. She was also generously assisted for the most part of the show by her boyfriend.

The educators.

The man who narrated the explosive show, Ken Melvoin-Berg, co-owner and tour guide of the Weird Chicago Tours headed by the "Network for Kinky People" panel commented that "It was a fun and educational experience. The students seemed to be incredibly pleased. We had a number of them that got closer and closer." Hell yeah! If Aku Tak Insaf were there, I bet she'd be photographed standing front-stage, her nose just inches from all that hard sawing action. To quote Bailey, as he defended his class material, "sticks and stones may break your bones, but watching naked people doing pleasurable things on stage will never hurt you."

[Source]

I'd have to say, the Prof. seemed to really know what he's doing to attract people to his class. His optional class sessions features have include "The Gay Guys Panel" sessions (where gay men talk about their sex lives), transgender performers, sex offenders, and a discussion session with a swinging couple -- now that's educational. Bailey, who was in fact Chair of Psychology at NU had also published a controversial book titled The Man Who Would Be Queen: The Science of Gender Bending and Transsexualism in which he discussed homosexuality as an inherited trait, and the idea of there being two kinds of transsexualism. Is there really? I have no idea, will have to pick up that book soon by the look of things.

Ahh, yes. Now on to the fucksaw. Here's what the monster that's able to provide "up to 2500 strokes per minute" looks like, for those who are curious (and yes, that includes you, ATI).

[Source]

Melvoin-Berg, rated by Time-Out magazine as "Best Tour Guide in Chicago" is also in fact tweeting away about the splish-splash right now, with #fucksaw trending in Twitter at the moment.

The tour guide (twitter profile pic)

He also has a Myspace, should you be planning to visit Chicago anytime soon, and think you'd be interested in one of the Weird Tours (Crime Tour, Weird Tour, Sex Tour). An interesting excerpt taken from the profile page:

"Ken Melvoin-Berg is a psychic detective that works with law enforcement agencies assisting with murder suspect cases and gives private psychic readings. He also teaches classes (Out of Body Adventures, Psychic Development, Networking for Kinky People and now the ONLY Sex Tour in the Midwest!) at The Discovery Center in Chicago."

Psychic detective, eh? This reminds me of that TV show we used to watch, Psych. Hm. I need to meet this guy. And Bailey of course. Imagine the storm we're going to conjure if he were to held a forum (or bless him, teach a course) in Malaysia. Hm. It's gonna be a revolution. One word: #fucksaw

Sekian untuk hari ini. This is AYB, that's the news and I'm outta here.

I smell sex in the air

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Sextistics

Where's Waldo in this picture? 

Source: Do-while

How long did it take to find him? If you did it in less than a min, you're probably a female, so yay for that. If not, no worries. There are no winners or losers in this game. ANYWAY. Let's talk travel! Woop. Look at what info Travelinsurance.org has prepared for us.

If you've never wanted to go to Greece, click on the picture for a larger view and you'll see why the place has been attracting tourists like mad. Rupanya!

Think all this info is obvious and boring? Well tell me, do you know the name of the 7th most horniest country as rated by AskMen.com? Do you?

Let's see if you guess right. This might be old news to you, but at number 7, topping Mexico, Switzerland and Spain, is -- (surprise surprise) Malaysia. Or Malasya according to the lazy person (no offense) who didn't bother to look up his spelling for this poster. Here's an excerpt from AskMen:

No.7 Malaysia

In public, this country definitely appears conservative. For example, there was a recent controversy over whether sex education should be taught in high school or not -- not exactly sexually liberated. However, behind closed doors lies (pun totally intended) the real story: Malaysians are swinging from the bedposts, and loving every minute of it. Occasionally we'll get a glimpse of it - like when Malaysia's Minister of Health was forced to step down after his homemade sex tapes made the rounds in January of 2008.   

source:kualalumpurnightlife

Horny hangouts: In Kuala Lumpur, check out these bars and clubs for a straightforward party: Aloha, Poppy Bar or the Rum Jungle. To “choose your own adventure” visit the Beach Club where there’s a good chance a girl comes at a price, but she'll be worth every penny. 

But guess what? Holland's not even on the list! I sure hope the author knows his stuff. Don't know if you'll agree or disagree, but I can definitely vouch for the horniness of fellow Malaysian chatters in certain chatrooms. Look at the comment section of this article, and you'll find other (horny) Malaysians who defended the country's honor. (So the infamous Harian Metro article is not completely irrelevant ey? Harian Metroll's also.)

So ATI, worse comes to worse, looks like we don't have to look that far for ehem ehem vacay spots. Kau datang rumah aku lah cukup, and we can have our own "adventure", free! (Or let's just rendezvous online. Teehee)

--

For some reason I just want to end this post with a totally unrelated video, which demonstrates that all that sweat and hard work will pay off in the end, with a little bit of imagination and creativity. So enjoy. (Or not). 

Yg need to go on a long vacation,
aku yg berdosa

One-Eyed Trouser Snake

It's been a while since we came out with anything but movie reviews. You know KGAS is about much more than that. So, without further ado, here's some old news (but shocking nonetheless) for you guys out there who's thinking of being macho and getting inked. Be warned, it might just backfire. 


Man 'tattoos 40cm penis on friend's back' in Australia

An amateur tattooist is facing assault charges after he inked a 40cm penis on a friend's back, who only wanted 'a Yin and Yang symbol with some dragons'.
Read more: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/845183-man-tattoos-40cm-penis-on-friends-back-in-australia#ixzz18Club29q

Alongside the penis illustration, the 21-year-old Australian tattooed an unspecified slogan implying said friend is gay.

Police say the 25-year-old victim was talked into getting a tattoo while visiting his mate, but he asked him for an oriental design and emphatically not a giant back-based phallus.

'Apparently he went round to the other bloke's house and somehow in the course of the conversation the subject of tattoos came up,' explained Detective Constable Paul Malcolm.

'The victim wasn't interested at first but he was talked into it and he said he wanted a Yin and Yang symbol with some dragons.'

After being told not to venture out into the sun or show anyone for a few weeks, the freshly inked chap promptly went home and unveiled the work to his flatmate, who informed him: 'I don't think it's the tattoo you were after.'

A somewhat related video. I played it till the end because of the awesome 2nd song. So what kind of a person gets dick tattoos? And for what? Hell I don't wanna know. To all girls (and guys?) out there, make sure to check your partner for questionable tattoos before you get serious, okay?


xAYBx

Tantalizing Thursday

I cannot concentrate on work so naturally perusing the Internet suddenly became a priority. Anyway.

Look at what I found!

A very interesting question asked at Answerbag...

My friend will buy me dildo for bday, hubby feels disrespected by her doing this, he says he'll burn it when I get home. Should I ask him if I can use it JUST once out of curiosity? Or just secretly use it when I get it at work before I go home to him?

You guys can click on the link to see the kind of answers people are giving. Some of them are hilarious, especially the one which advised tying the husband to the bed post. Personally though, I'm curious at the trying-it-at-work part. Can you people imagine sneaking a huge 'toy' past your bosses and cowerkers at work? Haram giler wei.


Oh yeah. Can you imagine if she had gotten a glass dildo instead? That would be impossible to burn, wouldn't it? Wonder what the hubby would do then... 


Hurmm.... 


Also from the same site:

Tak boleh nak scandalous lagi? Totally reminds me of the French movie Ma Mere (My Mom). You guys haven't seen that movie? Don't worry, it'll be reviewed soon. 

In other unrelated news, can someone help me interpret this painting? 

In case korang tak nampak painting ni la kan: So the girl is wearing tudung (teghingat da plak, tudung 3gp dan video scandalous dalam lif tuu), but not wearing seluar. The donkey's 'carrot' is showing. And out of nowhere... there's an old guy menservice diri sendiri di belakang itteww. 

Apakah maksud semua ini? Whose wet dream was all this?! Huargh!


Hurm...

Yang need closure, 
Aku Yg Berdosa

Thank You for Masturbating

Nak contribute to charity but tak de $$$?  Now you have no more excuse to be kedekut because there's an event that allows you to masturbate and raise money for charity. Unbelievable.

They call it the Masturbate-a-thon, which unsurprisngly was first organized by Americans. The purpose is, as mentioned, fund-raising and also to promote safe sex and naikkan public kesedaran about this love-yourself activity. Not because people tak tau what it is, but kononnye to let people feel less malu to talk about it. So during the event, men and women yang berhati baik and tak kesah to masturbate in public with hundreds of people, boleh la gather at a designated place and masing2 make their own selves happy. It's called "mass public masturbation". learn that phrase. Even for events as haram as this, there are still rules ok. You need to be above 18yo, you can't touch other people, and guess what, you can't fake orgasms. haiz..too bad for us ladies. That's something we can for sure do better than men but they don't allow us to show off? (fyi, i've been planning to write about fake orgasms since last century, but tak start2 lagi. maybe later la). Back to the charitable part of this event again...the amount you earn for the charity depends on your number of orgasms and how long you masturbate.

Official logo for the US Masturbate-a-thon (from wikipedia)

Like any other marathon races, there are winners and losers in this masturbate-a-thon. The winners are those yang dapat the most orgasms and/or can masturbate the longest. The losers are of course are those who didn't even sign up for the event -- people like you and me. Unless you, the one yang tengah baca this post, actually participated before. That'd be such a great achievement, so impressive that I think you should put that experience in your resume. It's not going to hurt; it'd only help, trust me. 

Anyway, ingat senang ke to be the winner. Every hour, a person has only 5 mins to rest, meaning he/she has to love him/herself with or without a toy for at least 55 minutes to qualify for the competition. Say, in one of the hour blocks, you only masturbate for 53.7 minutes, then you won't be able to win a prize no matter what the total masturbation duration is. Failing the requirement only means that you aren't competing anymore. But of course, you can still stay in that event and continue to enjoy and do charity. Sounds like the toughest challenge ever....but it's not. Not saying this because I sombong or prasan I can do better. Just take a look at the results. My god. These people not only fulfilled the requirement, they clearly worked hard to be the best.

Current Records (Source: Wikipedia)

2009 San Francisco

• The winner of "Longest Time Spent Masturbating/Male" (and also the World Record Holder in this category) is Mr. Masanobu Sato, who in 2008 masturbated for 9 hours and 33 minutes. In 2009 he extended his record to 9 hours and 58 minutes. 
• The winner of "Longest Time Spent Masturbating/Female" was set in 2008 by Ms. Kitty Kat, who masturbated for 7 hours and 6 minutes.
• The winner of "Most Orgasms/Male" was set by Big Rob in 2010 -- at 83 climaxes, a world record.
• The winner of "Most Orgasms/Female" is Loooo-C, who came 83 times in 2010.
• The winner of "Longest Distance Come to Come" is Morihiro Taneichi from Tokyo.
• New United States - Men's distance record set in 2009 by (nom de plume) Mr. Flint Greasewood - 1.62 m (5.31ft).

2009 Denmark

• Masturbation time - men: 7 h 45 min
• Masturbation time - women: 5 h 4 min
• Number of orgasms - men: 8 - Danish record.
• Number of orgasms - women: 222 - World record
• Ejaculation distance - men: 2.5 m
• Ejaculation distance - women: 3.15 m - World record
• Target ejaculation - men: 6 cm from bull's eye
• Target ejaculation - women: All over bull's eye

*2 terms that maybe need some translation. nom de plome = pen name and bull's eye = the central point you aim at hitting in archery (google the image if this is a terrible explanation)

2 Japanese men yang luar biasa at the event. One of them lasted for 8 hrs 40 mins, another is the honorable world record holder, Sato-san.

These guys were there for a mission -- to promote the masturbation helper/tool for their company. Memang a good marketing strategy. Read more if you're interested: 

http://blogs.sfweekly.com/shookdown/2008/05/sunday_dispatch_masturbateatho.php

What a crazy crazy world. Here, we see a man who can tahan for 10 hours, a woman who can get 222 orgasms and another lady who can ejaculate as far as 3.15m (she'll make a perfect naked statue fountain kat halaman rumah i)..but we've also heard a lot about men who can't last more than 2 minutes and women who never had orgasm and/or ejaculation. Those outrageous overachievers..they are either born to be sexually talented, or they really train themselves to reach over the top. Now that you know about this masturbation competition, the next time you love yourself, will you be bothered about the duration and how far your body fluid can go? Will you be timing yourself, keeping track of the number of orgasms and measuring the distance traveled by the fluid, and challenging yourself to be better next time? I think I will.....haha

One day, someday, i nak try to go and check out the meat carnival la. Mesti ada gerai2 that sell these performance enhancement toys. Can't wait to see all those weird toys (is it just me or Sato-san's tool looks like a tumbler/bottle for drinking water?). Anyone nak kirim anything? Perhaps can even report live from there..hmmm....

One final question for you to think about (even better if you're willing to answer it in the comment box): how much money do you think you can raise if you were to participate in this?

yang bercita-cita nak bring this event to malaysia,

aku yg tak insaf

Live Long, Zero Sex or Die Young, Plenty Sex........You Choose :)

Aku yg miang is back and once again I couldnt believe i would write another new post that fast, well mayb my inner desires are telling me they cant hold any longer.......

By the way here is another piece of news which i would like to share with u people out there. A lady from UK lives up to 106 yrs old (and still living) and still being a virgin. I wonder is it a good or bad thing or should I say a sad thing but well if she's happy about it, its not ours to care. Below are the headlines:

She’s 106 - and still a virgin
FOR some people, staying away from alcohol and cigarettes is the key to a long life. For others, it’s a no-meat diet or plenty of exercise and healthy living. But for Miss Isabella Blyth, it’s none of the above. She is 106 and is still a virgin. Miss Blyth, from Gorgie, west Edinburgh, has revealed that the secret to her long life is the fact that she has never been romantically involved with anybody.
The plucky pensioner, who celebrated her birthday yesterday, has no regrets about living a life of abstinence.In fact, she believes it has made her physically and mentally strong, The Scotsman reported. Never had time “I’m not sure if anyone ever tried it on – but they never got anywhere! She says she never felt the need for romance and never had time for a man,” her niece, Ms Sheena Campbell, was quoted as saying. “She did like the odd sherry though.” Miss Blyth was born in 1904. She used to attend flower club and church, sang in the choir and played golf or did gardening. She had always stayed in Edinburgh and worked for 35 years as a private secretary to a whisky producer. Ms Campbell, 67, said: “She was wrapped up in her church and she loved her choir and flower club. And she had a high-powered job, which meant she was always busy.” She added: “I think she was also a bit of a maiden lady as she was the first-born and acted as a head with her six brothers and sisters.” Miss Blyth describes her childhood as “happy and healthy”, up until the outbreak of war in 1914, when her father was called up to fight. Despite her grand old age, Miss Blyth, who has stayed at an old age home for the past two years, insists on washing and feeding herself. Ms Campbell said: “She never had time to be sad. She’s an amazing character. You wouldn’t believe she was 106.”

In my opinion, i think she is not even a human hahaha, how could you never felt the need. I believe everyone through a certain stage of their life or time (well some being everyday) has that nafsu or inner desire flooding in your mind and veins, telling you that it cant be hold on much longer. Haha it is really bias of me having said that but then again, do you really be able to resist the temptation???

Anyhow i personally hope aku yg tak insaf do not end up like this lady, it will be damn sad and imagine you ignored your inner desires for 106 years, gosh that is painful.........

By

Aku yg Miang

It CUM sooner than I thought

Hahaha baru je cakap next post come very soon, indeed it came even sooner than I could expected.....but then nampak this piece of news which i feel i tak boleh tak share with you readers and aku yg tak insaf.

Recently i find it very amusing the usage of sentences and words to report news on TheStar online, wonder who is the writer........here it goes with the headlines:

Bogus cop forces boy to have sex with him

DRIVEN by his ravenous sexual appetite, a man posed as a police officer to intimidate a 15-year-old boy into doing his bidding, reported Harian Metro. During the incident on Monday evening, the “officer”, in his 50s, had approached the teenager at a cybercafe in Ampang and threatened to handcuff him. Feeling intimidated, the boy decided to follow the man home to his apartment for “interrogation”. A police source told the tabloid that in the apartment, the man had asked the teenager if he took drugs. “But by then, he could no longer hold in his sexual urges and started to grope the boy’s private parts and even tried to sodomise him. “He later threatened the boy to keep the incident a secret,” he said. The boy subsequently lodged a police report.


Haha i just love the sentences (in red) they used, it says evrything about this blog. The conclusion of this story is that you really tak boleh tak peduli your inner desires or else just end up like the police officer.......wait a minute, he's not even an officer!


BY
aku yg miang

pepeliks II - siapa, sebenarnya aku padamu?

setelah dimarahi aku tak insaf kerana lack of commitment to zis blog, dgn tak malunya i present to u my 2nd consecutive post of the day.

as some of you might know, miss universe 2010 was just crowned last august. so dgn curiousnya, kita pun decided to look around for the same kinda competition... only, y'know, for men. (thoughtful betul website ni siap ada video lagi).

however, let it be known that i'm quite disappointed there were no chocolate kampung boys to represent malaysia. *insert damn sad face here :((*

but goshsh some of them are just like the most pedas chili ever (belgium, bulgaria...). *sighhh*. but how important are looks anyway?

that being said, here are two of our FAVORITES <3. they made us laugh the loudest.

Mr. Greece aka Tarzan 




mmg sesuai la motto die: "true happiness is making other people happy"



Mr. Kazakhstan aka Comel



i am so berat sebelah on mr. kazakh. he has good taste in films. ambition dia is to win an Oscar. his motto: "be slow to promise and quick to perform." what's most important to him? "My family it is in my soul!"

and the pout at the end. so kiut.


as an important note of interest, ni aku yg tak insaf punya favorite (for manhunt international 2010):

Macau's main display pic

i kid you not. she is rooting for MACAU sebab dia macam "unique sikit".

macau's 2nd picture

she also confessed an unnatural liking to man boobs. specifically, aku tak insaf said "make sure ko tulis ni. aku suka big breasts, not big chests."

...

yg tak share the same interest,
aku yg berdosa