I smell sex in the air


That's true. But for some people who never had it before, they choose to do it with air and actually enjoy doing it so much that they make it a competition so that people who might be called losers for not getting sex, still have the chance of getting crowned as a sex champion...an air sex champion.



"There's a huge gap between those who can get sex and those who can't in Japan. So, in the middle, we have air sex"

Totally makes sense kan? Why can't Malaysians be the first to think of such ideas? I'm sure we have the same gap issue in Malaysia, but only worse. Even if you can get sex, there's still risk of getting caught. We recently read about how religious enforcement officers are getting better at showing their concerns toward premarital sex activity, especially in Cyberjaya. Watch out, Foursquare users in Cyberjaya.

"Apa gunanya kami menjadi jabatan agama Cyberjaya jika tidak menggunakan teknologi IT yang sedia ada. Kami mengumpul pengkalan data pasangan-pasangan yang berada di Cyberjaya sejak setahun lalu. Kami menggaji seorang pakar IT untuk mencipta perisian yang akan memberitahu kami bila pasangan-pasangan ini CHEK-IN ke rumah masing-masing secara berdua-duaan. Setakat ini sudah ada 13 pasangan yang berjaya kami tangkap menggunakan teknik ini"


Yela2. 


"Saya belajar di Malaysia kerana mahu melarikan dari polis moral yang banyak di negara saya. Buat apa saya terbang jauh-jauh dari Tehran jika di Malaysia pun saya tak boleh nak berzina sesuka hati? Ini tidak adil. Malaysiapun sudah menjadi teokrasi macam negara saya kah? Sejak saya mendengar ura-ura mereka menggunakan Foursquare untuk menangkap pasangan kekasih saya tidak lagi berani nak check-in. Akibatnya sekarang saya hilang 7 mayorship Rumah Urut Happy Ending, Hotel Cheong Cheong, Rumah Tumpangan Ah Kow dan 4 rumah kekasih gelap saya. Ini sucks! Di Rumah urut Happy Ending kalau jadi mayor dapat 2 happy ending for the price of one"

Gotta love the honesty of this Iranian student who came to Malaysia to run away from the strict moral rules in his country. I'd be pissed too if I were him. Penat2 come to this seemingly more liberal country only to find out that he still can't freely have sex. I bet he'll fly back to Iran if Malaysia continues to disappoint him and make him lose his mayorships (what a term) in massage parlors and hotels.

Pandai pulak I digress..

Anyway, these Japanese gf-less, horny dudes can come up with anything to calm their sex-deprived souls. Essentially, you go on stage, choose a music clip and have sex with an imaginary partner. Perfect opportunity for you to act out your wildest sexual fantasy, to show people how you normally do it (if you're so damn proud of your style), to show off the best you've had or to win people's sympathy by acting out the worst that had been done to you.

The creator said "If there are no children being born because we're all having air sex, we will become extinct". You worry too much, man. As if there's even a 1% chance that this will happen. As long as there are rich, powerful and/or (can't help but notice that "and" is too idealistic..but let's just keep it that way) handsome men, real sex will stay alive and women wouldn't mind poking holes in the condom just to make sure they get pregnant with the men's babies...because we simply love being mothers. *fakeness setinggi klcc*

(Have to point out that the dubbing voice for the lady is soo weird that it's almost disturbing to me. Aku yg berdosa can do a 136 times better job than that.)

openly faking orgasm
Oh yeah. This is the only occasion where you'll get applause and cheers for faking orgasms (in fact, you're not even allowed to reach real climax), pretending you're the best blowjob giver, acting like you have explosive sexual energy etc.

Very much into grabbing and licking




Air sex competition USA, 2007



Contestants who berjaya to catch my attention: the lady giving bj at 1:02 and red shirt dude at 1:09. Didn't like that the video focused on the guy in high-rise pants at 1:55 for such a long time

Air Sex Championship New York City (interview with the promoter/host, performers, judges, creator)




Highlight of the video: "Air erection..the size of Kansas". I wonder how that feels like.

Air sex championship in Brooklyn, New York

No particularly useful advice. Just commit, be ridiculous and have fun.





Peer Pressure, kononnye the first air f**ing group. It's pretty lame actually and I don't even know why they see the need to form a group for this. Tak de kerjaaa. Names pon pelik2 and kurang class: Relentless, X2C, Pipelayer, Pressure, Satisfaktion. Siap ada credits lagi..



Check out the official site for this championship for rules, more photos (here too), videos and schedules. If you happen to be in town, just swing by and be a sporting audience or even cooler, be an awesome contestant. Make us proud. Oh btw, if you're thinking of watching one of the championships as an alternative for going to strip clubs, just forget about it. Contestants aren't allowed to be naked. Aww.

Sparks fly
If air sex is like air guitar, is it too much to expect a PS/Wii/Xbox version of err...sex band hero with complete training, battle and world tour mode?

Collecting sign-ups for people interested in joining the first air sex enthusiasts meeting in Malaysia,
aku yg tak insaf

Men, Women and Semen

If you're expecting a Valentine's special post this week, you'll be hugely disappointed. We are not followers of the Saint Valentine and it's meaningless to celebrate it  unless somebody declares Valentine's Day as a public holiday in Malaysia. You have my sympathy if your gf insists on making it a special day, expecting gifts,  surprises and whatnot. We are so not the gewdik and skema type. Unfortunately for one of our friends though, her gf (yeah, it's not a typo. it's a her and her gf alright.) woke up one morning...probably 2 weeks before the big day, and asked my friend in a manja tone "what's the plan for Valentine's?". Kaboomz. My friend terus fell to the 8th floor of hell. She never made a big deal out of the V day when she dated other men and totally didn't see that coming. She must have forgotten she's dating a girl now. Haiz.

Oh btw, nak show off a bit, can? One of our fans made a FB page for us. Well, sort of. The page was called Aku yg tak insaf at first but later he changed it to Aku yg tak berdosa. I'm not quite sure why but it's still a page inspired by us okay. If you like this blog, me, aku yg berdosa, or all of the above, check this out and boleh tak jangan malu2 to like? There's nothing scandalous on that page (at least not yet), so don't worry about people judging you by the blog you read.

Banyak pulak nonsense in the intro. Lemme give you a present to make it up..

semen  & aku yg berdosa's hand


I'll be honest and admit that I don't know much about semen. I basically collected information from a bunch of websites, selected a few that are slightly more interesting (= less medical and scientific) and just pour them all into this post. So, if you're already an expert in this topic or if you're looking for something erotic, feel free to skip this post.
 
Taste
"Fruits like kiwi, watermelon, celery, and pineapple are all said to make semen taste lighter. Beer and coffee are believed to have something of an opposite effect, and could leave her with a bitter taste. Alkaline-based foods like meat and fish produce a buttery taste, while acidic fruits (cranberries, blueberries and plums) produce a pleasant, sugary flavor. Most liqueurs will do the same, while dairy products can make for a foul taste because of their high bacterial putrefaction levels" (http://www.askmen.com/dating/dzimmer_100/117_love_answers.html)

Don't worry if you happen to like the food that would supposedly make your semen taste bad. You can be playful and ask your girl to guess what you ate for dinner from your semen. Call it a quiz, game, or whatever...as long as you can get away with eating your favorite food and not pissing your girl off because of the awful taste of your semen


Health & Family Planning
"semen spurs ovulation and makes women feel happier. Compared with women who 'always' or 'usually' used condoms, those who "never" did, whose vaginas were exposed to semen, showed significantly better mood--fewer depressive symptoms, and less bouts of depression. In addition, compared to women who had no intercourse at all, the semen-exposed women showed more elevated mood and less depression." (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/201101/attention-ladies-semen-is-antidepressant)



Scientific alasan for guys to not wear plastic bag. I don't know if I'd sacrifice safety for pleasure. I guess if I'm depressed to the core, I'd consider allowing my partner in without condoms.  


"Absolutely considered and validated by medical science, rare cases of women have been recorded to experience hypersensitivity towards seminal fluids. This condition is medically known as human seminal plasma hypersensitivity. Symptoms may either be localized or systemic depending on the body response of the woman’s antigen and the amount of seminal fluid that entered the body. Manifestations include vaginal itching, redness, blisters, and sometimes, even difficulty of breathing." (http://healthmad.com/addiction/weird-facts-about-semen)

I suspect aku yg berdosa might be one of the few to have this condition. She's hypersensitive to my gentle and sensual touch. Always get undesirable overreaction when I give her a surprise touch here and there. That's why I can totally imagine every inch of her body responding to semen, in a bad way.  


Myths, superstitions, weirdness...
"In ancient times Egyptian men considered masturbation and production of semen to be acts of God, and even attributed the ebb and flow of the Nile River to demand masturbation amongst villagers. Pharaohs were required to masturbate and dump into the Nile River" (http://theirtoys.com/sexblog/10-little-known-facts-about-semen.html).

Haha. Anything in the name of god. Guys, go la masturbate and dump your thing into Sg. Rajang. It won't flow without your contribution. Even the pharaohs had to do it, apa lagi commoners like you and me?


"From Strickland-Bosavi region, Papua New Guinea, the tribe called Etoro believes that semen provides sexual maturation among the younger men of their tribe. Anthropologists have branded the tribe with notorious remarks of homosexuality. According to their practice, younger men of their tribe need to drink their elders’ semen in order to achieve sexual maturity. To them, semen possesses the manly nature of the tribal elders, and in order to pass down their authority and powers, young men of their next generation must drink their elders’ semen." (http://healthmad.com/addiction/weird-facts-about-semen)

Pandai2 je make all these rules and design practices just so they can see the young flesh gulp down their semen. It's like telling younger women to lick older women's breasts in order for the young's breasts to grow and pass down their motherly warmth. When can I become the leader of a tribe and make mengada rules like that?


Misc
"Semen with its high protein has also become a main ingredient in quite a few beauty products, Asia and other parts of the world have begun using semen in hair conditioner, face wash, and even lip balm" (http://theirtoys.com/sexblog/10-little-known-facts-about-semen.html)

Patut laaa I'm addicted to using lip balm even when my lips are not that dry. I wonder if aku yg berdosa's hair sometimes smells funny because she didn't wash her hair or perhaps she's using a Hi-protein shampoo/conditioner.



"Diet, exercise and frequency of sex can all dictate how thick or watery your emissions are, as can the tightness of the clothes that you wear (tight clothing will increase body temperature and can, thus, impact sperm motility)". (http://www.askmen.com/dating/dzimmer_100/117b_love_answers.html)

Hah. Finally a strong, valid reason to persuade guys not to wear skinny jeans. Do you really want to sacrifice your sperms' swimming ability just to look pretty? Aku yg berdosa has a lot more to say about men in skinny jeans. It's one of the many things that bother her now (#1 being those untamed hair and unnecessary facial hair).

"Semen can stain. It should always be washed in cold water" (http://theirtoys.com/sexblog/10-little-known-facts-about-semen.html)

Promise of a lifetime. This should be included in wedding vows. 

A poster for everyone:
popjolly.com

yang don't know how to deal with the lazy self,
aku yg tak insaf

Sextistics

Where's Waldo in this picture? 


Source: Do-while


How long did it take to find him? If you did it in less than a min, you're probably a female, so yay for that. If not, no worries. There are no winners or losers in this game. ANYWAY. Let's talk travel! Woop. Look at what info Travelinsurance.org has prepared for us.


If you've never wanted to go to Greece, click on the picture for a larger view and you'll see why the place has been attracting tourists like mad. Rupanya!

Think all this info is obvious and boring? Well tell me, do you know the name of the 7th most horniest country as rated by AskMen.com? Do you?

Let's see if you guess right. This might be old news to you, but at number 7, topping Mexico, Switzerland and Spain, is -- (surprise surprise) Malaysia. Or Malasya according to the lazy person (no offense) who didn't bother to look up his spelling for this poster. Here's an excerpt from AskMen:


No.7 Malaysia


In public, this country definitely appears conservative. For example, there was a recent controversy over whether sex education should be taught in high school or not -- not exactly sexually liberated. However, behind closed doors lies (pun totally intended) the real story: Malaysians are swinging from the bedposts, and loving every minute of it. Occasionally we'll get a glimpse of it - like when Malaysia's Minister of Health was forced to step down after his homemade sex tapes made the rounds in January of 2008.   

source:kualalumpurnightlife

Horny hangouts: In Kuala Lumpur, check out these bars and clubs for a straightforward party: Aloha, Poppy Bar or the Rum Jungle. To “choose your own adventure” visit the Beach Club where there’s a good chance a girl comes at a price, but she'll be worth every penny. 



But guess what? Holland's not even on the list! I sure hope the author knows his stuff. Don't know if you'll agree or disagree, but I can definitely vouch for the horniness of fellow Malaysian chatters in certain chatrooms. Look at the comment section of this article, and you'll find other (horny) Malaysians who defended the country's honor. (So the infamous Harian Metro article is not completely irrelevant ey? Harian Metroll's also.)

So ATI, worse comes to worse, looks like we don't have to look that far for ehem ehem vacay spots. Kau datang rumah aku lah cukup, and we can have our own "adventure", free! (Or let's just rendezvous online. Teehee)

--
For some reason I just want to end this post with a totally unrelated video, which demonstrates that all that sweat and hard work will pay off in the end, with a little bit of imagination and creativity. So enjoy. (Or not). 






Yg need to go on a long vacation,
aku yg berdosa
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...