Showing posts with label homemade gossips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homemade gossips. Show all posts
Daddy's Day Part 2
Yes, Happy Father's Day to those of you celebrate. But please don't do so watching Lolita-type of movies ok.
Also, since I juga sympathize dengan kepanasan you di sana, here's something to cool you down further.
I'll whip out my Drumstick
that will make your eyes gleam
lick it up quick - before it melts on the floor
I got it!
Uno-dos-tres-quatro
Gimme some more
Okay! :)
Slurp. Coincidence: my favorite ice-cream is the Drumstick.
In case the videos above proved too modern for you, nah yang ni -
Actually this is more for aku yang tak insaf, since now she is not only (temporarily) real dad-less,
but also sudah menyuarakan hasrat to find a sugar daddy prince in that latest post.
My my, aku yg tak insaf. Itu sudah tahap critical tu.
Remember patience is half of your iman babe.
But tak apalah. Because I know she wouldn't stray,
she wouldn't be able to, since her Muslim prince
will be of the modern-but-still-alim-sedikit kind.
The kind that will magically make her vibrator disappear maybe,
or the kind that is like a rugby superstar who poses for pictures on a praying mat,
some kind of hot pencegah maksiat guy.
 |
| Exhibit A: Pro ball-handler Bachar Houli. On a praying mat. |
Yes, pencegah maksiat, but hot. You know how aku yg tak insaf is.
She keeps complaining of the weather, "tak tahan panas" or "oh my god panasnye,"
but give her pictures of lelaki panas, oh terus je cool down.
By the way, if you're as into muslims as ATI is, you can give MuslimHunks.blogspot.com a looksie,
or maybe even bookmark it (as I'm sure ATI did). But the question is, halal ke?
As you ponder upon that for a while, ATI,
let me get back to the topic here. For a daddy-less ATI,
here's a music video by newly-formed dancing boy-band from East Russia, "Kazaky"
which I think you would enjoy,
In the Middle? Hmm. Pusat ke?
Also, since I juga sympathize dengan kepanasan you di sana, here's something to cool you down further.
Manis nye! Oh yes, can I have whip cream to go with that please? Thanks.
First stanza lyrics for sing-along:
Meet me at the ice cream truck
I'll be you an ice cream I'll whip out my Drumstick
that will make your eyes gleam
lick it up quick - before it melts on the floor
I got it!
Uno-dos-tres-quatro
Gimme some more
Okay! :)
Slurp. Coincidence: my favorite ice-cream is the Drumstick.
In case the videos above proved too modern for you, nah yang ni -
More pakcik-desi (inside joke, real-life sweetheart) type, no? Imagine you and him, duet lagu ni. The lyrics apply well to your situation, too, don't they ATI?
My heart stops, when you look at me
Just one touch, now Baby I believe,
This is real,
So take a chance and don't ever look back
Don't ever look back!
Can't wait for my ice-cream,
Aku Yang Berdosa
My heart stops, when you look at me
Just one touch, now Baby I believe,
This is real,
So take a chance and don't ever look back
Don't ever look back!
Can't wait for my ice-cream,
Aku Yang Berdosa
Angry bird
I know I shouldn't be writing a post when I'm angry but I just feel like typing away my fury. Just bear with my anger for now alright. I'll try to go back to my normal sweet self (well, I guess it really depends on how you define sweet but biar la what I want to say) by the end of the post or latest by my next post.
I finally received the long-dreaded package. My lesbian friend gave me a vibrator for my birthday, and she got AYB the same thing (even the color) for no special reason. She loves us, really.
I don't think I'm gonna use it and I'll probably give it to my old grandma. Orang tua kan suka urut2. AYB won't use it either but for a totally different, but extremely strong and valid reason:
Ooooooooo, habis you suka apa ek, cayunk? Cakap je tak suka. Mentang2 it's waterproof kan..she went to shower right after she got the new toy. I wonder what she did in the bathroom, other than taking an innocent shower.
This is old news but I just have to say, William got married but the bride is not me. He was my one and only from 11-14yo but we drifted apart because of his receding hairline. How can a 29yo man look so botak eh? And the thing is, it's not just him; it's becoming a scary trend based on our diligent facebook stalking. Guys nowadays memang start becoming bald around that age. It's unforgivable. If my idol, Datin Rosmah can maintain her hair, so can you.
(I can't tell which hair is bigger but I like both. So I figured I'd put both to show how much I adore her and perhaps you can tell me which one is actually bigger. She's my inspiration, I swear. Ask AYB if you don't believe me.)
Sorry, I got carried away..
Anyways...a company came up with this to celebrate the royal wedding.
The wedding is over but intercourses are still going on every second around the world. So if you're interested to have a taste of what it feels like to wear the king of condoms, order from here.
Enough about William. I'm over him. For now, my heart is with the dubai prince (saje put in small letters so that it's not too obvious. takut kena tangkap. i'm a loser). Like William, he's born in 1982 and according to the chinese zodiac compatibility, kitorang memang match and sesuai for each other! Who knows maybe I'll have my own royal condoms with whichever prince I end up marrying, kan?
This blog is getting less steamy these days. Part of it is because AYB's been talking about revamping Kau Greasy, Aku Steamy. She doesn't want it to be a pornish blog that attracts only the downright horny folks (padahal dia sendiri sentiasa hidup dalam kegersangan). I guess another part of it comes from the lack of steamy movies that are worth sharing here. Maybe we have higher expectations now, maybe we picked the wrong movies, or maybe we simply want some real actions in our lives. Maybe.
Let's end this post with something I saw on OkCupid. They asked people "Is your ideal sex rough or gentle?" and they analyzed what people wrote..this is what they found:
I don't know about you. But I think AYB's more into rough sex whereas me, being the kind and sweet girl that everyone loves, of course prefers the gentle sex. I mean, I don't even know what rough sex means. Can sex be rough? Really? Show me how. Show me now.
I want kepastian,
aku yg tak insaf
I finally received the long-dreaded package. My lesbian friend gave me a vibrator for my birthday, and she got AYB the same thing (even the color) for no special reason. She loves us, really.
I don't think I'm gonna use it and I'll probably give it to my old grandma. Orang tua kan suka urut2. AYB won't use it either but for a totally different, but extremely strong and valid reason:
"I don't like clit stimulation", said AYB.
Ooooooooo, habis you suka apa ek, cayunk? Cakap je tak suka. Mentang2 it's waterproof kan..she went to shower right after she got the new toy. I wonder what she did in the bathroom, other than taking an innocent shower.
This is old news but I just have to say, William got married but the bride is not me. He was my one and only from 11-14yo but we drifted apart because of his receding hairline. How can a 29yo man look so botak eh? And the thing is, it's not just him; it's becoming a scary trend based on our diligent facebook stalking. Guys nowadays memang start becoming bald around that age. It's unforgivable. If my idol, Datin Rosmah can maintain her hair, so can you.
Sorry, I got carried away..
Anyways...a company came up with this to celebrate the royal wedding.
"Like a Royal Wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion"
"Combining the strength of a Prince with the yielding sensitivity of a Princess-to-be, Crown Jewels condoms promise a royal union of pleasure."
"Truly a King amongst Condoms"
The wedding is over but intercourses are still going on every second around the world. So if you're interested to have a taste of what it feels like to wear the king of condoms, order from here.
Enough about William. I'm over him. For now, my heart is with the dubai prince (saje put in small letters so that it's not too obvious. takut kena tangkap. i'm a loser). Like William, he's born in 1982 and according to the chinese zodiac compatibility, kitorang memang match and sesuai for each other! Who knows maybe I'll have my own royal condoms with whichever prince I end up marrying, kan?
 |
| segan la if you look at me like that |
Talking about the men I like is part of my self-healing process. Dah less angry now. Amazing. To celebrate this magical moment, I want to see a man in this boxer. Anyone?
This blog is getting less steamy these days. Part of it is because AYB's been talking about revamping Kau Greasy, Aku Steamy. She doesn't want it to be a pornish blog that attracts only the downright horny folks (padahal dia sendiri sentiasa hidup dalam kegersangan). I guess another part of it comes from the lack of steamy movies that are worth sharing here. Maybe we have higher expectations now, maybe we picked the wrong movies, or maybe we simply want some real actions in our lives. Maybe.
Let's end this post with something I saw on OkCupid. They asked people "Is your ideal sex rough or gentle?" and they analyzed what people wrote..this is what they found:
I don't know about you. But I think AYB's more into rough sex whereas me, being the kind and sweet girl that everyone loves, of course prefers the gentle sex. I mean, I don't even know what rough sex means. Can sex be rough? Really? Show me how. Show me now.
I want kepastian,
aku yg tak insaf
Last Night, She Said
"Aku memang suka loud sex pun." - ATI
So one couple (note: married) will rent ATI's bedroom for quite some time. Her concern was that her bed creaks. Y'know, like bila kau baring atas tu and pusing-pusing, dia bunyik cam krek - krok - krek - kreek. "So camne kalo couple tu nak have sexitime?" asks ATI, sambil baring and testing2 bunyik katil dia dengan ganas - pegang bedpost, goyang-goyang. Hit her head against the pillow several times. Moved her butt up and down till the bed damn gegar. Testing yang kira intense la.
I told her, "Dude, kalo laki tu skillful enough kau can do it slowly la dey. Tak pun on the floor ke. On the chair while sitting down ke. Mana-mana lah."
"Hm. Takpelah. Aku memang suka loud sex pun."
Well ATI, as long as you don't do it while I'm next door I won't do this to you.
Totally unrelated but aku nak_cake_ni. It's a divorce cake, and I want it for my future contract-wedding. That's right, if I'm going to have to get married, might as well make it a contract one. Also, nak_cake_ni boleh jadi korang nye YM chatroom id. Bak kata our friend yang tak cakap Melayu but knows what "nak" means, why do most YM people have "nak" in their nicknames? Jawab.
No X's and no O's.
AYB
Ultra random
Okay, forgive me for digressing from the real purpose of this blog. I promise this post will get steamier as you read but I gotta start the post with a video & song that's been sticking in my head for the past few days. I've been thinking about it so much that I bangun je from my nap, I terus asked aku yang berdosa "ei, takpe ke aku nak post who you finna try dalam blog?". She tergelak. Nampak sangat the video & song haunt me even in my sleep. I've shared this video on facebook but since some of you aren't friends with us on fb, allow me to present our favorite video of the week (and probably the year):
People who know me would know that Who you finna try is so not my type of song. But I was so impressed that I had to download the song. Aku yang berdosa and I can't stop singing those two lines "who you finna try" and "I bet it ain't me", not forgetting of course the aaaaaahhhhh that's so annoyingly best. We're still trying to master the art of hair whipping and the technique to open our mouths as wide as a rhinoceros. So hopefully, we can proudly share our hard work one day in this blog. This could be my only chance to slap aku yang berdosa. Bless me!
Here's another video that also berjaya to stir our emotions, but in a bad way though.
Qouting Dato' Siti Nurhaliza in one of her interviews on isu tudung"Siti tak pernah nak cakap Siti ni baik. Ikut la Siti. Ikut la Siti sebagai contoh ye. Tak eh. Siti tak cakap macam tu". Aku yang berdosa and I also don't claim to be baik and so, we're not in the position to kutuk them for kissing in the public, jatuh maruah etc. But, can the guy and his friends be any meaner? "Oi bai, ada racun doh", bodoh this bodoh that. Seriously can't stand the arrogance and smug look on the bf's face. In short, memang tak de kerja la.
Okay..dah. tukar mood.
.
.
.
Don't know since when Christmas has become a season for lingeries. Here's a series of commercials that caught my eyes:
1. La Senza
I personally think this is pretty creative. The video shows bra ladies singing note that reflects their bra size A to G. If you're can't get enough of the Christmas song (yeah right), check out The Cup Size Choir official site to play with the girls. Oh yeah, you can play with them using your keyboard and create the most beautiful Christmas music. But I gotta say, it's kinda creepy to see the girls breathing and slightly twitching their bodies even when you're not doing anything and just staring at the page. Not saying this out of jealousy, but I honestly think F and G cups are simply too much. Maybe guys don't feel the same. I know some enjoy the feeling of not being able to cover their partner's boobs with their gigantic hands, but some prefer to feel like they have the boobs under control. Comment la to tell us what you like and what's the ideal bra size for you. Jangan malu2 ye.
2. Victoria's Secret
"Victoria's Secret asks what's your fantasy?" Surely pretty babes showing off their assets and VS bras is not, and will never be, in my list. The horse scene definitely reminded me of the Old Spice ad, which also reminded me that I haven't smell a guy in a long time. Gersang I. haha.
3. Fortnight Lingerie
This is not really a Christmas special but I just want to share it anyway. The first video is girl-on-girl and the second is more indecent, mostly because the pak tam looks too gatal. Show these videos to St. John and Red Cross members and I'm sure they'll be so motivated to learn their first-aid lessons well. Or maybe this could be part of your doctor-patient game in the bedroom. Jom learn CPR!
Super Sexy CPR from Super Sexy CPR on Vimeo.
Super Sexy Abdominal Thrust from Super Sexy CPR on Vimeo.
who you finna try?!
aku yg tak insaf
People who know me would know that Who you finna try is so not my type of song. But I was so impressed that I had to download the song. Aku yang berdosa and I can't stop singing those two lines "who you finna try" and "I bet it ain't me", not forgetting of course the aaaaaahhhhh that's so annoyingly best. We're still trying to master the art of hair whipping and the technique to open our mouths as wide as a rhinoceros. So hopefully, we can proudly share our hard work one day in this blog. This could be my only chance to slap aku yang berdosa. Bless me!
Here's another video that also berjaya to stir our emotions, but in a bad way though.
Qouting Dato' Siti Nurhaliza in one of her interviews on isu tudung"Siti tak pernah nak cakap Siti ni baik. Ikut la Siti. Ikut la Siti sebagai contoh ye. Tak eh. Siti tak cakap macam tu". Aku yang berdosa and I also don't claim to be baik and so, we're not in the position to kutuk them for kissing in the public, jatuh maruah etc. But, can the guy and his friends be any meaner? "Oi bai, ada racun doh", bodoh this bodoh that. Seriously can't stand the arrogance and smug look on the bf's face. In short, memang tak de kerja la.
Okay..dah. tukar mood.
.
.
.
Don't know since when Christmas has become a season for lingeries. Here's a series of commercials that caught my eyes:
1. La Senza
I personally think this is pretty creative. The video shows bra ladies singing note that reflects their bra size A to G. If you're can't get enough of the Christmas song (yeah right), check out The Cup Size Choir official site to play with the girls. Oh yeah, you can play with them using your keyboard and create the most beautiful Christmas music. But I gotta say, it's kinda creepy to see the girls breathing and slightly twitching their bodies even when you're not doing anything and just staring at the page. Not saying this out of jealousy, but I honestly think F and G cups are simply too much. Maybe guys don't feel the same. I know some enjoy the feeling of not being able to cover their partner's boobs with their gigantic hands, but some prefer to feel like they have the boobs under control. Comment la to tell us what you like and what's the ideal bra size for you. Jangan malu2 ye.
2. Victoria's Secret
"Victoria's Secret asks what's your fantasy?" Surely pretty babes showing off their assets and VS bras is not, and will never be, in my list. The horse scene definitely reminded me of the Old Spice ad, which also reminded me that I haven't smell a guy in a long time. Gersang I. haha.
Victoria's Secret - Sexiest Lingerie Yet For The Holiday 2010 - TV Commercial (Extended Version) - The best video clips are right here
3. Fortnight Lingerie
This is not really a Christmas special but I just want to share it anyway. The first video is girl-on-girl and the second is more indecent, mostly because the pak tam looks too gatal. Show these videos to St. John and Red Cross members and I'm sure they'll be so motivated to learn their first-aid lessons well. Or maybe this could be part of your doctor-patient game in the bedroom. Jom learn CPR!
Super Sexy CPR from Super Sexy CPR on Vimeo.
Super Sexy Abdominal Thrust from Super Sexy CPR on Vimeo.
who you finna try?!
aku yg tak insaf
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