The Virgin Monologues

Finally. After a few months of letting A.T.I nonchalantly spread lies about me (semen in my hand, semen in hair, semen everywhere), I am now back from the dead, and trust me, hi-protein be damned - I will be washing my hands, hair and body clean from those sticky slander. It's time to set course straight, one post at a time.

The subject of virginity is a real touchy-feely one. Yadayadayada, yeah I pun dah takde mood nak preach about this, so I'll just list down the points I have so far:

- Hymen restoration now a norm in Iran to obtain "virginity certificate" required by many families before marriage. Damn over tak leh blah langsung. This procedure is popular among divorced women who wanted to hide their previous marriage. Sigh. Perlu sangat ke per semua ni?

Total double standard, cam this BMW iklan I got from that link ATI posted.

You know you're not the first

- The hymen can be torn way before a girl's first intercourse. Fact la dey.

- Bleeding during sex is most often caused by not having enough lubrication aka Tak Cukup Turned-On

- Accept/ respect your perempuan seadanya. You may think she's not a virgin from the way she speaks padahal she is just a perempuan yang suka browse Internet or tengok steamy movies or tulis blog or just gatal but doesn't wanna admit it in general (banyak je leh list down kat sini). Pendek cite just love her for who she is. Jangan just nak belajar Maths so you can learn how to divide her parts if you know what I mean.

- Once you start to masturbate, you're technically not a virgin anymore. This applies to both sexes. Both pun sometimes equally gatal. Life is short. Be happy. Get over it. (But don't disrespect your parents/beliefs/society. Tak suroh pun ey.)


Yang suddenly so sampat & bitter at da same time,
Aku Yang Berdosa