Angry bird

I know I shouldn't be writing a post when I'm angry but I just feel like typing away my fury. Just bear with my anger for now alright. I'll try to go back to my normal sweet self (well, I guess it really depends on how you define sweet but biar la what I want to say) by the end of the post or latest by my next post.

I finally received the long-dreaded package. My lesbian friend gave me a vibrator for my birthday, and she got AYB the same thing (even the color) for no special reason. She loves us, really.

I don't think I'm gonna use it and I'll probably give it to my old grandma. Orang tua kan suka urut2. AYB won't use it either but for a totally different, but extremely strong and valid reason:

"I don't like clit stimulation", said AYB. 

Ooooooooo, habis you suka apa ek, cayunk? Cakap je tak suka. Mentang2 it's waterproof kan..she went to shower right after she got the new toy. I wonder what she did in the bathroom, other than taking an innocent shower.

This is old news but I just have to say, William got married but the bride is not me. He was my one and only from 11-14yo but we drifted apart because of his receding hairline. How can a 29yo man look so botak eh? And the thing is, it's not just him; it's becoming a scary trend based on our diligent facebook stalking. Guys nowadays memang start becoming bald around that age. It's unforgivable. If my idol, Datin Rosmah can maintain her hair, so can you.

(I can't tell which hair is bigger but I like both. So I figured I'd put both to show how much I adore her and perhaps you can tell me which one is actually bigger. She's my inspiration, I swear. Ask AYB if you don't believe me.)

Sorry, I got carried away..

Anyways...a company came up with this to celebrate the royal wedding.

"Like a Royal Wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion"

"Combining the strength of a Prince with the yielding sensitivity of a Princess-to-be, Crown Jewels condoms promise a royal union of pleasure."

"Truly a King amongst Condoms"

The wedding is over but intercourses are still going on every second around the world. So if you're interested to have a taste of what it feels like to wear the king of condoms, order from here.

Enough about William. I'm over him. For now, my heart is with the dubai prince (saje put in small letters so that it's not too obvious. takut kena tangkap. i'm a loser). Like William, he's born in 1982 and according to the chinese zodiac compatibility, kitorang memang match and sesuai for each other! Who knows maybe I'll have my own royal condoms with whichever prince I end up marrying, kan?

segan la if you look at me like that

Talking about the men I like is part of my self-healing process. Dah less angry now. Amazing. To celebrate this magical moment, I want to see a man in this boxer. Anyone?

This blog is getting less steamy these days. Part of it is because AYB's been talking about revamping Kau Greasy, Aku Steamy. She doesn't want it to be a pornish blog that attracts only the downright horny folks (padahal dia sendiri sentiasa hidup dalam kegersangan). I guess another part of it comes from the lack of steamy movies that are worth sharing here. Maybe we have higher expectations now, maybe we picked the wrong movies, or maybe we simply want some real actions in our lives. Maybe.

Let's end this post with something I saw on OkCupid. They asked people "Is your ideal sex rough or gentle?" and they analyzed what people wrote..this is what they found:

I don't know about you. But I think AYB's more into rough sex whereas me, being the kind and sweet girl that everyone loves, of course prefers the gentle sex. I mean, I don't even know what rough sex means. Can sex be rough? Really? Show me how. Show me now.

I want kepastian,
aku yg tak insaf