Condom ӕd

No matter how much of an environmentalist you are and how much you support the recycling programs, condom is the only kind of beg plastik that you should never ever recycle and reuse. That's one thing yang i tahu pasal condom. The rest, let's see what we can learn from these commercials.

Flight Attendent - Soa Aids Nederland - Click here for more blooper videos

Ok, honestly baru tahu the correct way to dispose a condom. Can someone shed some light on why we need to tie it up before we throw it away? Is it just for hygiene purposes? Or is it possible that from the tong sampah, abg sperms might find a way out from the plastic bag and crawl all the way to unite with his gf, cik egg? 

Oh, and did you guys notice that the main audiences are the 'tams'. I bet this commercial is not aired in US sebab it's so very racist. Tau la people say pak tams don't practice safe sex. One of the wifes/gfs needed to force her guy to watch and learn the important lesson of using a condom and we can clearly see the reluctance on their uninspired faces. I'm just going to brave myself and risk the possibility of starting a war between malaysians and pak tams, and give our female readers a piece of advice here: if you just want to have fun and tak nak kids yet, stay away from pak tam. (Don't report me, please. I'm actually a very pak-tam-friendly person. I swear)

 

Funny Condom Commercial - Click here for more home videos


If your kid is having serious behavioral issues like this, be sure to check if your room is soundproof before you blame the kid, school, teachers, tv, society, yada yada... But I don't know if this can be applied to Asians. Not because we are not as loud as mat sallehs when it comes to sex, but I wonder how many people in the non-Western conutries actually moan/jerit YESSS (or the equivalent in their languages masing2) when they are having fun. The funniest example I've heard of is about a loud Chinese couple yang betul2 from China but study in Singapore. Despite noises from their bed banging against the thin wall between hostel rooms, my friend heard the girl groaned "my emperor, i'm coming..." (or in their own words "huang shang, wo lai le..") haha..see, that's very culture-specific and there's practically no room for misunderstanding that we see in this iklan


But yeah, if you are the YESSS kind, then try to pay extra attention to the words you are hearing when you are having sex. Your kids (bf and husband termasuk dalam this category too) may take advantage of your vulnerability at that time and ask for anything they want. Don't let them get away with it! 

Trojan Condom Commercial - Watch more funny videos here


Hmmm, message yang agak mendalam and teknik yg sangat berkesan. Guys, don't put your condom in your wallet/pocket anymore but keep it in the car instead. You don't know when your future in-laws are going to surprise you. Even if the girl memang wants you, the walk back to the car gives you time to reconsider everything.  Plus, tak la kantoi with cashier everytime you open your wallet and want to pay for something. Same reason for not keeping in the pocket coz the bag might fall out of your pocket when all you want to do is to get your coins out to pay at the parking ticket machine when there's a line behind you. imagine 5 pairs (or more) of eyes pandang you semacam..lagi la memalukan

Durex Ad France 2009 by McCann - Funny blooper videos are here


Personally, my favourite. Lesson to be learned: If you aren't in touch with your inner desires, just follow the Durex. Sweet gile if my husband would still clear the table to turn it into a platform for the activity when we both dah tua. I'd rather face a floor full of broken cups and plates than a broken heart if my husband dah no longer desire me. After all, he's going to be the one to clean up after that pun. I have nothing to lose.

But what tickles me the most is that last scene, where the cops looked at each other meaningfully. I guess they were surprised by themselves and seem like they were ready to succumb to the callings of the Durex. so cuteee. I can already imagine the smell and taste of happiness when love and Durex are in the air. 

So there you have it. 4 (hopefully) entertaining ads that gave you some educational insights on condom. Practice what you've learned from here and make the world a better place (tak de kena mengena). As a starting point, let's begin by imagining a Durex floating above your head now....


yang capitalized on the bf's lap,
aku yg tak insaf

Thank You for Masturbating

Nak contribute to charity but tak de $$$?  Now you have no more excuse to be kedekut because there's an event that allows you to masturbate and raise money for charity. Unbelievable.

They call it the Masturbate-a-thon, which unsurprisngly was first organized by Americans. The purpose is, as mentioned, fund-raising and also to promote safe sex and naikkan public kesedaran about this love-yourself activity. Not because people tak tau what it is, but kononnye to let people feel less malu to talk about it. So during the event, men and women yang berhati baik and tak kesah to masturbate in public with hundreds of people, boleh la gather at a designated place and masing2 make their own selves happy. It's called "mass public masturbation". learn that phrase. Even for events as haram as this, there are still rules ok. You need to be above 18yo, you can't touch other people, and guess what, you can't fake orgasms. haiz..too bad for us ladies. That's something we can for sure do better than men but they don't allow us to show off? (fyi, i've been planning to write about fake orgasms since last century, but tak start2 lagi. maybe later la). Back to the charitable part of this event again...the amount you earn for the charity depends on your number of orgasms and how long you masturbate.

Official logo for the US Masturbate-a-thon (from wikipedia)

Like any other marathon races, there are winners and losers in this masturbate-a-thon. The winners are those yang dapat the most orgasms and/or can masturbate the longest. The losers are of course are those who didn't even sign up for the event -- people like you and me. Unless you, the one yang tengah baca this post, actually participated before. That'd be such a great achievement, so impressive that I think you should put that experience in your resume. It's not going to hurt; it'd only help, trust me. 

Anyway, ingat senang ke to be the winner. Every hour, a person has only 5 mins to rest, meaning he/she has to love him/herself with or without a toy for at least 55 minutes to qualify for the competition. Say, in one of the hour blocks, you only masturbate for 53.7 minutes, then you won't be able to win a prize no matter what the total masturbation duration is. Failing the requirement only means that you aren't competing anymore. But of course, you can still stay in that event and continue to enjoy and do charity. Sounds like the toughest challenge ever....but it's not. Not saying this because I sombong or prasan I can do better. Just take a look at the results. My god. These people not only fulfilled the requirement, they clearly worked hard to be the best.

Current Records (Source: Wikipedia)

2009 San Francisco

• The winner of "Longest Time Spent Masturbating/Male" (and also the World Record Holder in this category) is Mr. Masanobu Sato, who in 2008 masturbated for 9 hours and 33 minutes. In 2009 he extended his record to 9 hours and 58 minutes. 
• The winner of "Longest Time Spent Masturbating/Female" was set in 2008 by Ms. Kitty Kat, who masturbated for 7 hours and 6 minutes.
• The winner of "Most Orgasms/Male" was set by Big Rob in 2010 -- at 83 climaxes, a world record.
• The winner of "Most Orgasms/Female" is Loooo-C, who came 83 times in 2010.
• The winner of "Longest Distance Come to Come" is Morihiro Taneichi from Tokyo.
• New United States - Men's distance record set in 2009 by (nom de plume) Mr. Flint Greasewood - 1.62 m (5.31ft).

2009 Denmark

• Masturbation time - men: 7 h 45 min
• Masturbation time - women: 5 h 4 min
• Number of orgasms - men: 8 - Danish record.
• Number of orgasms - women: 222 - World record
• Ejaculation distance - men: 2.5 m
• Ejaculation distance - women: 3.15 m - World record
• Target ejaculation - men: 6 cm from bull's eye
• Target ejaculation - women: All over bull's eye

*2 terms that maybe need some translation. nom de plome = pen name and bull's eye = the central point you aim at hitting in archery (google the image if this is a terrible explanation)

2 Japanese men yang luar biasa at the event. One of them lasted for 8 hrs 40 mins, another is the honorable world record holder, Sato-san.

These guys were there for a mission -- to promote the masturbation helper/tool for their company. Memang a good marketing strategy. Read more if you're interested: 

http://blogs.sfweekly.com/shookdown/2008/05/sunday_dispatch_masturbateatho.php

What a crazy crazy world. Here, we see a man who can tahan for 10 hours, a woman who can get 222 orgasms and another lady who can ejaculate as far as 3.15m (she'll make a perfect naked statue fountain kat halaman rumah i)..but we've also heard a lot about men who can't last more than 2 minutes and women who never had orgasm and/or ejaculation. Those outrageous overachievers..they are either born to be sexually talented, or they really train themselves to reach over the top. Now that you know about this masturbation competition, the next time you love yourself, will you be bothered about the duration and how far your body fluid can go? Will you be timing yourself, keeping track of the number of orgasms and measuring the distance traveled by the fluid, and challenging yourself to be better next time? I think I will.....haha

One day, someday, i nak try to go and check out the meat carnival la. Mesti ada gerai2 that sell these performance enhancement toys. Can't wait to see all those weird toys (is it just me or Sato-san's tool looks like a tumbler/bottle for drinking water?). Anyone nak kirim anything? Perhaps can even report live from there..hmmm....

One final question for you to think about (even better if you're willing to answer it in the comment box): how much money do you think you can raise if you were to participate in this?

yang bercita-cita nak bring this event to malaysia,

aku yg tak insaf

Fetishism is the name, breaking the law the game

Ye, thanks to a very recent comment from one of our dear readers, rasa tiba-tiba mcm harus la pulak membicarakan hal 'kink'.

(Geram betul bila ada orang tak puas hati ni! Tak boleh ke cuba untuk menyelami isi-isi tersirat itu dgn sendiri? ;p)

Jika anda baca blog kami (memang lah boleh dibilang dgn dua tiga finger) tak syak lagi, anda mesti familiar, dan pernah encounter pelbagai jenis kinkiness, especially movie-wise... betul? Apakah definisi sebenar kink ni? Eh... pegi ah tanya Google! Har har de har de hambar.

Senang cakap, to me, kink lah yang sebenarnya puts "main" in... 'main'. Btw, siapalah yg came up wif 'main' ni kan? I seriously hated the word, but I can't think of another mainstream slang for it, so guna je lah. Lagipun, kira OK jugaklah, sebab mcm ada connotation yang positive dlm penggunaan perkataan itu ya. Dun play play ah.

Gogo Yubari. Kill Bill: Vol 1

Baiklah, now that we kinda sorta maybe hopefully know what kink is, mari bicara kembali tentang uniform. Seperti mana yg saya pasti anda tahu, antara perkara yg biasa termasuk dalam category kink ialah BDSM and fetishism. Apa yg special tentang uniform, ialah, (pd pendapat saya) it's the ultimate kink, sebab ianya boleh termasuk sekaligus dlm kedua dua category yg baru disebutkan tadi. *Uniform disini merujuk kpd semua jenis uniform, spt sekolah, tentera, polis, pengakap, jururawat, doktor, contruction worker, batman, dll. Ini kerana uniform membawa pelbagai lambang yg agak tersurat seperti disiplin, purity, innocence, unity dan juga authority. Jadi, mmg boleh bayangkanlah betapa bahayanya ya, jika kita hendak main-main dengan uniform ni... if you know what I mean.

Lagi-lagi bila taboo.

Contohnya, scene yg sangat controversial ni yg dipetik dari The Night Porter (1974) yg mengisahkan tentang sadomasochistic love/hate relationship antara seorang askar Nazi dan tahanannya.

The Night Porter (1979). Yin and yang!

Scene ni, mengikut artis burlesque Dita von Teese, is "one of the most visual, fetishistic scenes ever." In fact, this is the original thing yg telah menginfluence the modern imitations that you see today in some of the S&M and people-who-like-to-dress-up scene.






To be honest, all this isn't what I'm into (yet)... tapi gila laaah. I/We have not seen this movie, dan ianya nampak agak menggerunkan, but you have to agree  that that was pretty dark and awesome. Dan memanglah taboo... tapi mungkin tak se-taboo the idea of striptease dari askar melayu, tee hee. Tak pun, dance sequence featuring, say, aku tak insaf, tapi dia pakai songkok dgn samping songket benang emas tu, sambil tiup saxophone. Ada ke org yg berani nak explore dgn lebih mendalam & direct movie mcm ni (it will be the mother of all kink i tell u). Kalau tak ada pun, sekurang-kurangnya fill lah the comment box with dgn fetish2 korang yg for sure tak boleh blah tu ye.

sekian.


yg rasa agak berdosa & tak percaya i wrote this entry,
aku yg mmg dh byk dosa


p/s - DISCLAIMER: Tujuan entry ni & yg sewaktu dgnnya bknlah untuk memprovoke, atau menggalakkan apa-apa aktiviti yg diluar kepercayaan kamu-kamu yg membaca ini. (I just wanna make u laugh (sometimes)!) It is merely a form of conversation, sepertimana movies are meant as a form of escape... and also a platform to discuss things that we are sometimes not able to about publicly. More on this later. Maybe.

pendekar

Tak tau lah if aku tak insaf akan agree/suka, tapi I think I kena juga letak this video here.

Kalau ada satu benda yg I share in common with my mom, is that kita ada... erm... soft spot? untuk para tentera kita. Especially tentera udara dan laut ye. Tee hee.

Saya tahu topik ini boleh membawa byk perdebatan dr byk sudut yg lain, jadi let me just say that I just want to focus on the romanticized idea of berjuang untuk sesuatu with all your heart, dengan penuh keikhlasan dan ketulusan. Pastinya if a girl can feel that in a guy, she will stick with him till the end of time, regardless of whether or not you are good in bed. Statement ni mesti akan membuatkan aku tak insaf rasa seperti hendak muntah, but I think there's truth in it, walaupun mcm naive nak hidup. I also understand that some guys may not want/need a person to "stick with them till the end of time", but like I said, that is a different story, and is not the main focus here.

Silalah focus kepada lagu yg penuh semangat ini, dan gambar abang-abang yang sangat smart, fulamak, dan tak tau lah apa lagi nak cakap.

Hmm. Tak kira bangsa dan negara guys mmg akan nampak segak bila kemas beruniform... dan pada saya uniform dlm video ni nampak sangat bersih dan comel. (Uniform sekolah, discuss pada hari yang lain ya). 

Here's another video of the actual kawad... reminds me of those days when I used to watch those high school marching bands competition on TV. Tapi ni tahap yang luar biasa lah, like I said, because of the sweet uniform. :)

There's also a nice girl singing along to this video, but she didn't remember the lyrics. Takpelah, she's still a darling for uploading anyhow.

Yg tiba-tiba bersemangat,
aku yg berdosa

Killing me softly with his song and sex

There hasn't been much steam in this blog lately..so let's try to bring it back on. 


Killing Me Softly (2002)

weblo.com

I've been thinking about whether or not this movie needs to be reviewed here because to be honest, it's a pretty bad film. The plot's extremely skema and predictable. Although it's categorized as a psychological thriller, there's nothing thrilling or scary at all and I'm saying this from a penakut's perspective (I don't watch action and thriller movies, except for actions and thrills in bed of course). The lady's bored with her settled life with her fiance, met this mysterious and creepy guy, and terus fell in love with him (more like the hot and wild sex with him). She enjoyed the sex so much that she left the fiance and married this guy after knowing him for 20 minutes into the movie? Then she started receiving anonymous warnings about how this mysterious guy's dangerous, he has dark secrets, beware of him etc. Rupanye, it's because his sister's obsessed about him and tak nak share him with other people *yawn*. Since I'm not recommending you to watch this movie, I don't feel bad about giving away the ending.

Thank god, though, the sex scenes are better compared to the story .

Heather Graham - Watch the best video clips here

This is the first time they had sex. Heather Graham came to his house and he grabbed her from the back and their journey began. The taksabar-ness made my nafsu to have an affair at least once in my life become stronger. Imagine sneaking out during lunch hour to meet your affair for a quickie, who wouldn't want to be welcomed by this level of passion, eagerness and intensity? There's no need for foreplay and there's no time for nonsense. Not saying that foreplay tak penting. Kalau dah tau ada time limit, pandai2 la prepare yourself well before the rendezvous, so that you can get into action immediately. Or say you're too baik to betray your partner but you want to experience the thrill of it, you can ajak your partner to have an affair with you. Make appointments to have sneaky dates, wait for him/her to come to your secret hideout and then have crazy sex that you don't normally have in your usual bedroom. Tak kesah la how you want to play this out and what your fantasies are, the point is you need to be extremely good in role-playing to feel the sneakiness and haramness, or else it'll just be another date with your partner.

Heather Graham - Killing Me Softly Long - For more of the funniest videos, click here

I didn't like this as much because it looks too planned in a tak best way. Certainly doesn't look selesa to me but i know you can argue for her that she enjoyed it. Not sure if it's a good idea to try this at home. Just make sure you don't do it when you're having angry sex with your partner after a serious fight. Takut you lepaskan kemarahan on him/her and end up cekik betul2.

These are the only scenes that are worth watching in Killing Me Softly. Other than that, blehhh. Baik listen to the classic Killing Me Softly With His Song 

Story: 1.5/10
Sex: 8/10

the victim of a lame plot,
aku yg tak insaf

Berkenalan dengan the new OMG

Guys, jangan marah ye, I'm going to share with you a mengade article that might piss u off. even the title pun dah menggeramkan. this is way harder to accept than women who complain about their nicely big boobs (insert appropriate mental image of what's "nicely big" for u. korang punya taste kan lain2. some rase C-cup is just nice, ada plak yang rase the bigger the better...)


anyways, this review is written by Shawn Alff from creativeloafing.com for a book titled How to Live With a Huge Penis. The book title is bad enough but the title of the review is worse, in my opinion. The review is a little long, so bear with it or just read the ones I highlighted:

note: one of the authors is actually a imam

How I learned to stop worrying and love my huge penis


In a society obsessed with size–with cars as small as soapbox racers and cell phones like matchbooks–it’s no wonder men with oversized male genitalia, or OMG, are still persecuted. But, a new book, How to Live with a Huge Penis: Advice, Meditations, and Wisdom for Men Who Have Too Much, offers hope. It has finally given me the strength to come unzipped about my well endowed penis.


OMGs are such a taboo subject, I didn’t even realize I had one until I measured my erection with the ruler provided on the book’s inside cover. Technically I only have a “well endowed penis,” as opposed to a full blown OMG, but I may have misdiagnosed myself. (Readers are instructed to place the ruler at the base of the penis, possibly adding several inches of undercarriage. As a gentleman, I always measure from the top)

In any case, I had no idea that 5 ½ to 6 ½ inches of stately manhood constituted a well endowed penis. Indeed, this is the book’s main goal: to raise awareness of OMGs. No longer should men be ashamed of the enormous birth defects cradled in their underpants like the muscular arm of a Siamese twin.

Not only did this book save my life, it also resurrected my manhood. Like many men with an OMG, I contemplated penis reduction surgery and even committing suicide by tying my penis around my neck and thinking of vaginas the size of the Hoover Dam. My tormented childhood, the embarrassment of having to wear a construction hard hat as a cup to little league baseball, was a huge factor in my move to Florida–a state that resembles my penis and no longer requires OMGs to be registered with the DMV.

Everyman with an OMG has struggled with the perpetual fear of his penis catching in doors or shaking loose from the shackles of duct tape that keeps it suspended in your shorts. For all you “normal” men, just imagine how difficult it is for someone with an OMG to fly: we’re continually strip searched under suspicion of smuggling missiles, and new regulations require us to purchase an extra seat to accommodate our OMG (After the movie Snakes on a Plane, airlines no longer allow OMGs to be stored in the overhead compartment or under the seat). A man who carries “a huge penis also carries a sack full of painful memories… Accidentally making sexual partners hemorrhage or vomit. Suffering the sweltering days of summer in long pants”(10).

These obstacles led one of the authors, Rev. Owen Thomas, into a life of celibacy and priestly man-dresses. Rev. Thomas met the coauthor, Dr. Richard Jacob, at a hospital after Jacob had beaten his huge penis bloody with a hammer.

Thomas and Jacob confront the bias toward OMGs head on. Grade school gym coaches still condone the ridicule of boys forced to sit on the sidelines of soccer games, because their OMGs can’t be contained by wind shorts and they lacked adequate penis guards. Even at CL, an office full of liberal writers, small penis propaganda abounds like, “my penis is so small it was on China’s female gymnastics team.”

Once and for all the authors overturn the myths that OMGs are contagious, or that men with huge penises have smaller brains. Horse-cock hatred isn’t limited to humans. Elephants are often poached not for their tusks, but for their second trunks, which make excellent sleeping bags. The only point the author’s disagree on is how to deal with small penis elitists. I side with Rev. Thomas, the acclaimed author of the crime novels Megapsycho and Thunderstorm of Blood; he suggests a crowbar.

Another chapter offers tips for unzipping: coming out to friends and family. Readers are advised to clear the room of “kill triggers,” large phallic objects that feed a desire to kill. Never unzip in anger or in a public venue. Move through the opening quickly so your family isn’t disappointed when they discover you’re not coming out about your homosexuality.

This book even delves into the sensitive issue of sex and maintenance. Cumcrete situations and Maury Povich Syndrome can be prevented by squeezing your member like a toothpaste tube and working it with a rolling pin. Every man with an OMG knows that vaginas turn to sandpaper as a natural defense against large penises. Although you may never go “balls deep” like your small penis friends, Harvard’s S.P.I.T (safe penile intercourse techniques) method will help you work the tip in. Advice is also given on preventing rod rash, tip gnawing, and uterine encroachment. Fainting spells from erections, or hallucinations of talking animals due to blood loss from the brain, can be managed by carrying pictures of your grandparents. Potentially fatal nocturnal erections can be prevented by wearing night guards. If you do find a safe harbor for your OMG, the authors suggest giant novelty condoms. I’ve also used Glad Bags with red handle ties, though only with limited success.

While How to Live with a Huge Penis is physically long, it contains a lot of fluff, which is partly due to the gaping hole in OMG research. The scientific community has long denied the “theory” of huge penises as they shake the tenants of evolution. Congress has systematically cut off OMG funding as huge penises are not mentioned in the Bible. The end of the book is largely blank for you to fill with your own advice on managing your OMG. Mine reads like a diary: “Dear Well Endowed Penis, today I bought you tube sock because I know how cold you get in the winter.”

This book doesn’t specifically address French Bread Loaves (long skinny penises) or tuna cans (thick short ones), but it’s inspiring that we’re finally openly discussing penises that aren’t the size of fishing tackle. When friends, and even potential love interests, drop by my apartment, I prominently display one of my copies of How to Live with a Huge Penis on the coffee table. If visitors have any further questions, I’m happy to unzip and drape my OMG over the arm of the couch. Our OMGs are out and proud, never again to be suppressed by tightly wrapped rolls of Ace bandages and baggy pants.

I go one step further than Thomas and Jacob, proposing that OMG supporters wear flesh colored ribbons. A month should be dedicated to OMGs, where students learn about how the theory of relativity was a consequence of Einstein reflecting on his massive penis, and how Mozart’s final opera, “The Magic Flute,” was an attempt to reconcile with his penis.

We must learn to be proud of our trouser cannons. Even though our penises are large enough for us to fellate ourselves, we must stand tall and remember that we are still men.


*******


A few things I learn from reading this:
1. of course as mentioned in the title of this post, is the new OMG. never knew OMG also stands for this syndrome, characteristic, or whatever you call it. i doubt this can replace the skema OMG, but it's always good to have this extra knowledge kan?

2. the correct way to measure guys' adik/batang/belalai (remember to put your ruler at the base. it'll make you feel better, hopefully). if not for such standardized way of measuring, people might have to keep using darlie toothpaste as a unit of measurement.

3. "vaginas turn to sandpaper as a natural defense against large penises" errr....really? I thought it'll be like an open house party. the V invite and welcome the LP, and they have fun together. oh well, what do i know?

4. the kind of research they do in Harvard..it's the OMG research. patut la jadi the most prestigious university in the world. our local pride, UM should do this kind of research using homegrown oversized penises (if there's any). our government sure ada funding for this kind of project kan ...but tak sure plak whether huge penises are mentioned in Quran. anyone knows?

5. the different nicknames for different sizes of penises. French bread loaves and tuna can..haha. tak habis2 nak associate food with the batang. ice cream, sausage/hot dog, banana, terung, cucumber, carrot, etc..n now baguette and tuna can. sooner or later, there'll be no more makanan yang innocent

conclusion nye, size doesn't matter that much. i cannot say for other females (or gays, so that no one's left out), but as I said before, at least i know aku yg berdosa suka yang comel2 je. if your partner loves you, they'll accept and embrace whatever you have. maybe they'll secretly fantasize about stronger, better-looking men, but they won't leave you just because your asset is not as great as some random guys that will remain only in their fantasy. so stop worrying and love your penis, whether they are long, short, thick or skinny and just focus on loving us (haha...sorry tergedik n terjiwang).

yang sakit bahu again,
aku yg tak insaf

Unnecessarily gatal

"Billboard installer Carl Taylor takes a closer look at his work as Wonderbra launch their Full Effect bra, with the first ever 3D billboard, in central London. "

from web.orange.co.uk

if a picture doesn't say a thousand words, how about a video too?

Wonderbra Full Effect 3D Billboard - Watch a funny movie here


a belated but mengade raya present for our male readers who love boobs but weren't satisfied with those on the kad raya [hahaha..dah tau orang tak (or buat2 tak) minat, but still nak post the link again]. also an additional option for ladies who want to get a new bra (or guys yang suka pakai bra just for fun). boleh up two cup sizes..ok la kan? don't forget to get the 3D glasses for your partner too...especially if you only allow him to see but not touch.


the generous, 
aku yg tak insaf

sudah sebulan

Setelah menahan kesabaran, Raya AT LAST. For all u materialistic people who think raya is all about fat ang pau's... well... you are damn materialistic... and somewhat right. In a way, it's all about the reward at the end.

To all of you out there yg telah menahan kesabaran dan nafsu buas anda, syabas. Diharap mendapat iktibar dari kesabaran, dan tidak terlalu terburu-buru dalam tindakan. Janganlah dgn tak sabarnya hantar random messages to girls, "You suka ice cream batang tak?"

pic from ohtidak.com

Now that you can literally have your cake eat it too, it's fair time to share this extremely menggoda video to you guys. Yang tak menyambut Hari Raya pun boleh tengok. Like I said, it is extemely menggoda, and combines two things that aku tak insaf is obsessed about: eroticism and food.

Kim Basinger Having Fun in 9 1/2 Weeks - The most amazing videos are a click away

Malangnya not that greasy, but foody and and steamy betul clip from Nine 1/2 Weeks ni. Ni dah masuk dalam kita punya to-watch list.

Goodness, I think I should inspect aku tak insaf punya kitchen nanti. Buat random spotcheck once is a while. Kalau ada je sepah sepah and stickiness on the floor tu... ha! Tau lah dia tak puasa (if during ramadhan).

On a more serious note...

...

...

Ok, nevermind. Had something preachy to say in regard to this blog and what we want it to be about, but I'll save it for next time. I think today is a mark for more good things to come. We have been compiling a library/list of sweet stuff for our (non-existant) readers which we can't wait to share in the months to come. (Fetishes! Taboo! Vintage stag film! and lots more)

Selamat Hari Raya, and have a wonderful year of cool and macho thoughtfulness, control, and reflection as you jelajahi the path of your desires...

Kepada yg tak sambut Hari Raya pun I say... let's keep on going full steam ahead~


kisskiss.
aku yg berdosa

Kelocalan revisited

Sabar je la. easily the most wth public raya card i've ever seen. definitely not classy but could be sexy to some of you guys. imagine we do the same or try to top that.... 

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri from Kaki3gp.Com

yeah right.

the localist,

aku yg tak insaf

Steamy food

You won't be able to understand the video unless you know Spanish. I watched Like Water for Chocolate (1992) with aku yg berdosa a while ago, so I don't remember exactly what the narration says, but I can tell you what's going on here:

Gertrudis Se Larga - The most popular videos are a click away

So this girl who's as pupus as aku yg berdosa, can express her feelings and emotions through her cookings. People can feel those emotions when they eat what she cooks. Here, she cooked this quail (burung puyuh) with rose petal sauce dish that kononnye can awaken people's sexual senses. Her sister, as you can see from the video, was so horny after eating it that she had to run to the outdoor hut to mandi just to calm herself and cool her body down.  nampak tak all the steam (don't know if it was the water or her body)? then out of nowhere, ada this soldier yang main tembak2 with another few guys. the hut caught on fire tengah2 mandi, the horny lady lari from it naked, of course...and then naik kuda pakcik yang datang rescue. they lived happily ever after. hahaha. twisted tak fairy tale ni.

That's of course not the main storyline. the adik yang masak2 is the main character and her story has a dramatic ending that I shall not mention in this post. Although I remember clearly how traumatic (i believe most people will find it ridiculous though) the final moments were, we probably need to rewatch this movie to tell you more about the film.

If anyone has a recipe like this, don't be kedekut to share. tak baik tau keep it to yourself je.

yang sakit bahu,
aku yg tak insaf

Live Long, Zero Sex or Die Young, Plenty Sex........You Choose :)

Aku yg miang is back and once again I couldnt believe i would write another new post that fast, well mayb my inner desires are telling me they cant hold any longer.......

By the way here is another piece of news which i would like to share with u people out there. A lady from UK lives up to 106 yrs old (and still living) and still being a virgin. I wonder is it a good or bad thing or should I say a sad thing but well if she's happy about it, its not ours to care. Below are the headlines:

She’s 106 - and still a virgin
FOR some people, staying away from alcohol and cigarettes is the key to a long life. For others, it’s a no-meat diet or plenty of exercise and healthy living. But for Miss Isabella Blyth, it’s none of the above. She is 106 and is still a virgin. Miss Blyth, from Gorgie, west Edinburgh, has revealed that the secret to her long life is the fact that she has never been romantically involved with anybody.
The plucky pensioner, who celebrated her birthday yesterday, has no regrets about living a life of abstinence.In fact, she believes it has made her physically and mentally strong, The Scotsman reported. Never had time “I’m not sure if anyone ever tried it on – but they never got anywhere! She says she never felt the need for romance and never had time for a man,” her niece, Ms Sheena Campbell, was quoted as saying. “She did like the odd sherry though.” Miss Blyth was born in 1904. She used to attend flower club and church, sang in the choir and played golf or did gardening. She had always stayed in Edinburgh and worked for 35 years as a private secretary to a whisky producer. Ms Campbell, 67, said: “She was wrapped up in her church and she loved her choir and flower club. And she had a high-powered job, which meant she was always busy.” She added: “I think she was also a bit of a maiden lady as she was the first-born and acted as a head with her six brothers and sisters.” Miss Blyth describes her childhood as “happy and healthy”, up until the outbreak of war in 1914, when her father was called up to fight. Despite her grand old age, Miss Blyth, who has stayed at an old age home for the past two years, insists on washing and feeding herself. Ms Campbell said: “She never had time to be sad. She’s an amazing character. You wouldn’t believe she was 106.”

In my opinion, i think she is not even a human hahaha, how could you never felt the need. I believe everyone through a certain stage of their life or time (well some being everyday) has that nafsu or inner desire flooding in your mind and veins, telling you that it cant be hold on much longer. Haha it is really bias of me having said that but then again, do you really be able to resist the temptation???

Anyhow i personally hope aku yg tak insaf do not end up like this lady, it will be damn sad and imagine you ignored your inner desires for 106 years, gosh that is painful.........

By

Aku yg Miang

Untuk manfaat semua

this website is for all those who are as nerdy as i am ..

Sensual Interactive

but it might not be as helpful to those who are spontaneous and fun like aku yg berdosa, coz she didn't share the same level of interest mase i discover and shared this website with her. coz when she's in heat, she won't be bothered with all these technical details. she let her feelings and nafsus guide her to wherever she needs to be.

kalau ada masa, don't forget to do this survey: 

http://www.sensualinteractive.com/si/input.php

even if it's not accurate or the results are not what you expect, the one thing you'll realize is that you don't know your partner, or even your own self, that well after all. 

anyways, #5 and #12 could easily be my favorite. look so malas and relax je. but yang bahaya nye, i might fall asleep anytime. oops. 

apa favorite korang?

the pemalas,

aku yg tak insaf

It CUM sooner than I thought

Hahaha baru je cakap next post come very soon, indeed it came even sooner than I could expected.....but then nampak this piece of news which i feel i tak boleh tak share with you readers and aku yg tak insaf.

Recently i find it very amusing the usage of sentences and words to report news on TheStar online, wonder who is the writer........here it goes with the headlines:

Bogus cop forces boy to have sex with him

DRIVEN by his ravenous sexual appetite, a man posed as a police officer to intimidate a 15-year-old boy into doing his bidding, reported Harian Metro. During the incident on Monday evening, the “officer”, in his 50s, had approached the teenager at a cybercafe in Ampang and threatened to handcuff him. Feeling intimidated, the boy decided to follow the man home to his apartment for “interrogation”. A police source told the tabloid that in the apartment, the man had asked the teenager if he took drugs. “But by then, he could no longer hold in his sexual urges and started to grope the boy’s private parts and even tried to sodomise him. “He later threatened the boy to keep the incident a secret,” he said. The boy subsequently lodged a police report.


Haha i just love the sentences (in red) they used, it says evrything about this blog. The conclusion of this story is that you really tak boleh tak peduli your inner desires or else just end up like the police officer.......wait a minute, he's not even an officer!


BY
aku yg miang

Introducing Guest Writer, Aku Yg Miang

Well, of course I couldnt resist the request from these 2 perempuan who can't seem to keep their inner desires, here I am introducing myself as a guest writer to contribute to this ever steaming blog.

First of all, I can be refer as Aku yg miang or as aku yg tak insaf called it "the little slut"......of course I do live up to this reputation otherwise whats the purpose of someone who's back of their mind is as "wholly" as a virgin to write here.

Anyway this first post by aku yg miang is just a brief intro of myself......since these 2 perempuan has a "bout" page about their likes, here's a list of my likes:

NON GREASY FOOD. despise food too oily which is as oppose to aku yg tak insaf's likings

CHEESE. I've always find cheeses to be somewhat of an aphrodisiac, oooo it's the 2nd best thing to orgasm

GAYS. (not to comment)

GOSSIPS. who doesnt talk bad around ppl's back?!

NAP. best activity when u got nothing to do and to pass time.....besides sex of course

VAINITY. is this even a word? whatever, as long u know it when u're looking into the mirror :D

EMO-ING. love to torture your own mind, life's too boring if happiness is evrywhere


I guess thats about it, its time to sign out now, be sure to look out for the next post from me.......it will come very soon when my inner desires just couldnt hold any longer for they are not to be ignored (staying true to the motto).


P.S: By the way, i've decided to keep anonymous about my gender but i assure you aku yg miang is as good looking/handsome and pretty as:
 

leave the imagination to you readers out there

Better than sex

Once upon a time, there was a talented poet named En. Su Dong Po. You don't need to know his poems or any of his work coz nothing can beat this incredible meat dish he created. the pictures will say it all....(that's all we have pon..mana la nak dapat dongpo meat ni)

memang nampak sedap gila. looks so oily and so good no matter how they are presented:

the comel ones yang kena ikat like ancient parcels:

the bright and radiant ones yang tersusun lawa2. goodness!

the close-ups..nampak tak how transparent n irresistible the layers of lemak are.

and...the elegant one that looks like tiramisu.

how can this not be better than sex?! not like i've tried this or sex..but in my mind, dongpo is already the winner coz it's so haram. just imagining eating this makes me lemah now. ada ke laki's batang that can look as seductive as this?

nak apologize to the owners of these pictures for stealing these cuties. bukan sengaja but i terpaksa answer their panggilans.

the one that can hear and listen to the voice of food,
aku yg tak insaf

pepeliks II - siapa, sebenarnya aku padamu?

setelah dimarahi aku tak insaf kerana lack of commitment to zis blog, dgn tak malunya i present to u my 2nd consecutive post of the day.

as some of you might know, miss universe 2010 was just crowned last august. so dgn curiousnya, kita pun decided to look around for the same kinda competition... only, y'know, for men. (thoughtful betul website ni siap ada video lagi).

however, let it be known that i'm quite disappointed there were no chocolate kampung boys to represent malaysia. *insert damn sad face here :((*

but goshsh some of them are just like the most pedas chili ever (belgium, bulgaria...). *sighhh*. but how important are looks anyway?

that being said, here are two of our FAVORITES <3. they made us laugh the loudest.

Mr. Greece aka Tarzan 




mmg sesuai la motto die: "true happiness is making other people happy"



Mr. Kazakhstan aka Comel



i am so berat sebelah on mr. kazakh. he has good taste in films. ambition dia is to win an Oscar. his motto: "be slow to promise and quick to perform." what's most important to him? "My family it is in my soul!"

and the pout at the end. so kiut.


as an important note of interest, ni aku yg tak insaf punya favorite (for manhunt international 2010):

Macau's main display pic

i kid you not. she is rooting for MACAU sebab dia macam "unique sikit".

macau's 2nd picture

she also confessed an unnatural liking to man boobs. specifically, aku tak insaf said "make sure ko tulis ni. aku suka big breasts, not big chests."

...

yg tak share the same interest,
aku yg berdosa

mengintai dari tirai kamar: Man, Woman & The Wall (2006)

at some point in our life mesti kita pernah fall so hard to the point of dangerous obsession. kan? stalk myspace, facebook, stalk in real life, curi pensel dia, pinjam pemadam, write their names all over our notebooks...

tapi takyah la sampai cenggini...

ive got x-rated eyes. oh baby, oh baby

the plot: man leads boring life. man hears girl thru wall. man's life gets interesting.

filem ni agak grainy, and ada art-house feel sikit. that's one reason to watch, other than the fact that ianya membawa voyeurism ke tahap dewa. (just in case you're into that). plus, ada aoi sola, who is a japanese pornstar. (just in case you're into that). unlike other typical softcore films, there's also a plot twist in this (just in case you're into that too).

macam biasa, one of the reasons we selected this was because the overness of the cover, and the tak boleh belahness of the title. dgn bestnya kita pun tak disappointed. the protagonist's journey into obsession is hilarious, psychotic dan mmg WTF.

so is there such a thing as love at first sound? eargasm? pegila find out sendiri.

highly recommended untuk otaku diluar sana, and all u tak malu fans of hentai. or those who just enjoy a good laugh (with a twisted sense of humor?). we gave this 4/5.

amaran: please don't repeat this at home, especially di tengah bulan puasa. 

selamat mengekalkan semangat kejiranan, 

aku yg berdosa

Kelocalan

how about a taste of local steaminess for a change?

special thanks to the person who provided a night worth of entertainment for aku yg berdosa and myself. we personally like the ceritas more than the videos sebab we can roleplay and bercerita dengan penuh perasaan.

click to read aku yg berdosa's fav

Part ni la yang dia paling suka:

Selepas itu aku pula berbaring dan Ayu mula menjilat dan menghisap batangku yang hampir sebesar 3/4 dari diameter tin coke dan sepanjang ubat gigi darlie 250 g (paling besar), batangku memang western size, wanita-wanita yang pernah aku setubuhi kebanyakannya terperanjat dengan saiz batangku, tetapi sebenarnya aku lebih mementingkan teknik daripada bergantung pada saiz zakarku

this is probably the funniest description about laki's batang we've seen so far. guys who are reading this, how would you describe your asset/property? ada tak orang yang berani and sanggup to share?

yang curious,

aku yg tak insaf

Ramadhan special

8000 calories brought to you by the Heart Attack Grill in Arizona. greasiness yang kurang awesome even for grease lover like me.




tak sexy betul burger ni

~ pencinta lemak yang kecewa