Happy Daddy's Day

My dad obviously won't be reading this, so I'm not gonna pretend that he'll see this and tell him all the mushy things. Even if he does, he wouldn't know this is written by his daughter. But geez, if that really happens, I wonder how he stumbled upon/found out about this blog. Never mind, I don't really want to know. As out-of-control as I appear to be in here, I don't talk about sex with my parents...well, not that much. I do with my mum sometimes coz I know she's almost as perverted as I am. I believe she likes sex jokes more than anything else. My dad...err..is more reserved but I'm trying to liberalize his mind little by little. My short term goal is to convince him that some of his high schoolmates might be gay even though they're married with kids. Long term is probably to convert him from a men's-brief-old-uncle to a boxer-cute-man. Wish me luck.

not my personal secret. i just received my first vibrator in April, remember?

I'm kinda tired of being my dad's greasy baby. You may wonder what a greasy baby is. It simply means I'm the youngest and fattest in my family. Not good. I need a change.

Today, I simply want to be someone's sugar baby and of course in return, I'll celebrate father's day with the kind soul who's still missing in action. I'm on the verge of signing up at sugarsugar.com. I've been thinking about it for a while now. Should I or should I not? I swear I'm not a materialistic girl but I gotta admit this is a pretty neat idea.

Sugarsugar.com Where romance meets finance (see, isn't this brilliant?)

SugarSugar.com is for generous men looking to spoil, and dynamic women looking for financial support with bills, or who just need some excitement in life! Started by a real sugar baby, SugarSugar.com only accepts true, proven sugar daddies and sugar babies, and provides a staff of sugar dating experts to help you find the perfect mutually beneficial arrangement.

Sugar Daddy relationships are as old as mankind itself. Men have a natural instinct to surround themselves with beauty, and women have always sought out the security of a mature, financially stable man. While these aren't the only qualifications for a good dating experience, they are a good place to start!

Women: never worry about money again!
Men: join the only dating site where women outnumber you by 8-to-1.

Begin finding your perfect Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby by creating your free profile now. Start living the sweet life!

My profile would probably look like this:

Aku yg tak insaf

Sex blogger

Needs a man who can make her laugh hysterically 

And my match would hopefully look something like this...

Any muslim name (ehem...inside joke) |$$$

Generous prince of some sort

Looking to spoil and pamper a crazy supergluey woman and make her laugh till her boobs drop

If you're rich but ain't smart enough to think of the reasons to become a sugar daddy, the website has the list ready for ya.

20 reasons to become a sugar daddy

If you're not rich though, the message to take away from the list, which also happens to be the only one out of the 20 that's worth highlighting, is #4:

You don't have to be rich - just be generous with what you have.

Exactly, which is why 3$ is enough for me. I imagine if a man has 5$, he probably wants more than one sugar baby and that'd be divided among, say, 5 women and each of us will only get 1$. But if the man only has 3$ and he's sincerely looking for a crazy sticky woman, then all he can handle is just one baby (which will be me) at any time. Everything will work out nicely. It's all cool, like a bottle of chilled beer.

unusual beer ad. think dirty.

I encourage you to create your own and your match's profile in the comments section. Jangan kedekut. Be generous with what you have, remember? That includes you, aku yang berdosa. Don't try to get away from this.

Happy sugar papa's day,
aku yg tak insaf

Not every post needs a title

Ish...dah 1 month tak ada update?! Shame on us. Actually I wrote another one in May but blogger lost it. They said they'd give us back the post so I waited n waited for it, but they never did. So I merajuk at blogger just like I merajuk at anyone and everyone.

Making me merajuk is as bahaya as standing behind this gorgeous lady

There's a lot to share during the time we're gone. At least I had you guys in my mind but I'm not sure if aku yg berdosa did. Alright now, I'll share with you a molehill of crazy things that I stumbled upon:

Creepy

Absolutely disturbing "It's a boy!" birth announcement card. Urgh blueeehhh. So tak ada class. Good thing they don't have a a girl version. What a disaster.

Arty-farty

Contemporary artwork of women and food by Lee Price. This one is with strawberry swirl ice-cream in a bathtub. If they use me as a model, it'll definitely be me + a bucket of kfc chicken on a bed covered with grease. Half or fully naked, tak kesah pun.

There's a fine line between artsy and indecency. Be your own judge. 2 of the grossest from Mirko IIic Corp: 

Reality

The reality is, sometimes I just wish I'm a man.

In case you're lazy to click on it to see it at full size or if you're so rabun that you can't read even when it's maximized. Here's what it says:

Money! Sex! Karma! Could sperm donor be America's finest part-time job?

Donating sperm to someone who needs a little help making a baby isn't just profitable. There's also the whole improved karma thing that happens when you lend an anonymous hand to someone who dreams of having a child. If you're between the ages of 18 and 40, can pass our demanding battery of physical, genetic and mental testing and can appreciate the soulful payback that comes from helping to create a child, we'd like to hear from you


Great deals like this shouldn't even need advertising. Guys, don't be mengada. Hurry down to your nearest sperm bank and make your deposit! You'll find babies carrying your genes everywhere if you donate frequent enough. No more existential or survival concerns. Life's all good.


These people want your jizz-ness.  Y'know, sperm for money. (JFL)





That's a joke but truth is, there's a sperm collector in China now. It works as a hand job machine and only costs $2,800. Contact the manufacturer if  interested.  





I have nothing to say about this. Nude gaming party in New York City. Americans can come up with all sorts of excuse to do crazy things. Y'know, it's all about feeling free bla bla bla. It's ridiculous but you can't help feeling jealous. Don't deny. Well, just wait for us to organize this kind of haram events in Malaysia. Siapa lagi you boleh harapkan right? Right now, in our to-do list: masturbate competition, sex toy party, live sex demonstration, aku yg berdosa's special erotic massage session etc. Feel free to add more to the list in your imagination.

Nude Gaming Party in New York City - Free videos are just a click away

Jokey

If you're not super or mega big, then you're just smart. I love elephants and horses but I also want my man to be smart. Why can't I have them all?!

Super large stress-reliever for guys. Reviewers seem to love it. I mean, who doesn't love boobs? Even I can't keep my hands off aku yg berdosa's boobs. 

[DEALEXTREME] Super Large Stress-Reliever for Guys (Item #10544) - A funny movie is a click away

It's cool, isn't it? *doing doing*


While playing with the boob(s) and nipple with your perverted hands, you can also eat them literally. The Japanese strikes yet again. Edible boob-shaped pudding. Soft, tender and milky. Perfect for breast-obsessed mummy boys.

Fantasy

Sometimes I'm a feminist, sometimes I'm not. One thing I always agree with men is, women are a pain in the ass. There are times you just wish your woman will shut up, get sucked into the black hole, or whatever.





The handsome, knows-it-all, charming guy that every woman desires and every man aspires to become:






When you've tasted all kinds of women and colorful cocktails, hanging out with good ol' buddies suddenly 
become a fantasy.

Bavaria - Hugh Hefner - More amazing videos are a click away

I just want to hide from the rest of the world, like that....

Maybe I was an ostrich in my previous life. I'll become a pig in my next life since my ears aren't pierced. No idea what's the reason behind this? There's none really. It's just a ridiculous myth I heard from my mother and her mother.


Running away from reality but still far from fantasy,
aku yg tak insaf

Angry bird

I know I shouldn't be writing a post when I'm angry but I just feel like typing away my fury. Just bear with my anger for now alright. I'll try to go back to my normal sweet self (well, I guess it really depends on how you define sweet but biar la what I want to say) by the end of the post or latest by my next post.

I finally received the long-dreaded package. My lesbian friend gave me a vibrator for my birthday, and she got AYB the same thing (even the color) for no special reason. She loves us, really.

I don't think I'm gonna use it and I'll probably give it to my old grandma. Orang tua kan suka urut2. AYB won't use it either but for a totally different, but extremely strong and valid reason:

"I don't like clit stimulation", said AYB. 

Ooooooooo, habis you suka apa ek, cayunk? Cakap je tak suka. Mentang2 it's waterproof kan..she went to shower right after she got the new toy. I wonder what she did in the bathroom, other than taking an innocent shower.

This is old news but I just have to say, William got married but the bride is not me. He was my one and only from 11-14yo but we drifted apart because of his receding hairline. How can a 29yo man look so botak eh? And the thing is, it's not just him; it's becoming a scary trend based on our diligent facebook stalking. Guys nowadays memang start becoming bald around that age. It's unforgivable. If my idol, Datin Rosmah can maintain her hair, so can you.

(I can't tell which hair is bigger but I like both. So I figured I'd put both to show how much I adore her and perhaps you can tell me which one is actually bigger. She's my inspiration, I swear. Ask AYB if you don't believe me.)

Sorry, I got carried away..

Anyways...a company came up with this to celebrate the royal wedding.

"Like a Royal Wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion"

"Combining the strength of a Prince with the yielding sensitivity of a Princess-to-be, Crown Jewels condoms promise a royal union of pleasure."

"Truly a King amongst Condoms"

The wedding is over but intercourses are still going on every second around the world. So if you're interested to have a taste of what it feels like to wear the king of condoms, order from here.

Enough about William. I'm over him. For now, my heart is with the dubai prince (saje put in small letters so that it's not too obvious. takut kena tangkap. i'm a loser). Like William, he's born in 1982 and according to the chinese zodiac compatibility, kitorang memang match and sesuai for each other! Who knows maybe I'll have my own royal condoms with whichever prince I end up marrying, kan?

segan la if you look at me like that

Talking about the men I like is part of my self-healing process. Dah less angry now. Amazing. To celebrate this magical moment, I want to see a man in this boxer. Anyone?

This blog is getting less steamy these days. Part of it is because AYB's been talking about revamping Kau Greasy, Aku Steamy. She doesn't want it to be a pornish blog that attracts only the downright horny folks (padahal dia sendiri sentiasa hidup dalam kegersangan). I guess another part of it comes from the lack of steamy movies that are worth sharing here. Maybe we have higher expectations now, maybe we picked the wrong movies, or maybe we simply want some real actions in our lives. Maybe.

Let's end this post with something I saw on OkCupid. They asked people "Is your ideal sex rough or gentle?" and they analyzed what people wrote..this is what they found:

I don't know about you. But I think AYB's more into rough sex whereas me, being the kind and sweet girl that everyone loves, of course prefers the gentle sex. I mean, I don't even know what rough sex means. Can sex be rough? Really? Show me how. Show me now.

I want kepastian,
aku yg tak insaf