4 Rings of Love

[Alvy and Annie are seeing their therapists at the same time on a split screen]
Alvy Singer's Therapist: How often do you sleep together?
Annie Hall's Therapist: Do you have sex often?
Alvy Singer: [lamenting] Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week.
Annie Hall: [annoyed] Constantly. I'd say three times a week. 

~ From Annie Hall (1977)

Classic, but not always the case. Recently, a French woman divorced and demanded compensation from husband for their 21 years of undersex marriage. The judge granted and ordered the poor man to pay £8,500 for her loss. Kesian. Dah la his reason for failing to provide bedroom entertainment is because of "tiredness and health problems". You can imagine what it is la kan? Triple misfortune - lose woman, lose money and lose face.

“A sexual relationship between husband and wife is the expression of affection they have for each other, and in this case it was absent. By getting married, couples agree to sharing their life and this clearly implies they will have sex with each other.” ~the judge

Ideally, yes that should be the case. But how many couples still have passionate sex to show their affection after 5, 10, 20 years of marriage? I'd guess by 5 years into marriage, most couples have sex either to make babies, to pass time, or they've got nothing to say to each other. This lady asked for a divorce and claimed it's solely the husband's fault but do you seriously think she didn't have a single affair during those sexless years? Macam impossible je. How about this uncle is a gay and he's just being true to himself? Can't blame him also. But it's okay, things happen for a reason and a divorce might not be a disaster after all; You never know what's in it for you. Sometimes divorce means better sex.....

.....but sometimes it means more ridiculous spending on top of all the other things you need to pay to get away from the person who was once your cayunk.

An 18 karat gold divorce ring. Oh yea, this is the ring to celebrate (?) the end of your love affair -- engagement ring -> wedding ring -> suffering -> divorce ring. This divorce ring created by Spritzer and Furman costs US$3,200. A diamond dagger that splits the golden heart. How cruel. I know nothing about jewelery but the gold part looks kinda fake. Almost looks like a toy that lives inside a Kinder Bueno chocolate egg. Seriously, who would buy this? Not me definitely, I don't even want a wedding ring. Could be perfect for aku yg berdosa who tak habis-habis nak contract marriage. She can wear this ring to announce everytime her contract ends. Babe, since dah beli, might as well kahwin a few more times, baru la berbaloi. $3,200..worth how many karaoke sessions eh? Probably can perform Kau Yang Bernama Seri 800,000 times kot.

Also redundant, is this wedding ring coffin. If marriage is the tomb of love, can divorce bring you back to life or make you dig deeper into your love grave? I'd guess the latter, but what do I know?

Give a dead marriage its proper, final resting place. The Wedding Ring Coffin is the perfect gift for yourself or a loved one for bringing closure after a divorce. It’s time to... 

Bury the past and move on to a new tomorrow

When a marriage dies, what should be done with the wedding ring? Until now, millions of wedding rings have been banished to remote corners of sock and underwear drawers. Now you can give these wedding rings the proper final resting place they deserve.

No matter how they rationalize or sugercoat their marketing messages, this is just another unnecessary purchase for a dying (or dead) relationship. The only good news is, it costs only $35. Tak tau la kan..maybe your rationality died together with your marriage and you feel like you really need this to pull you through, then who am I to stop you from being ridiculous? Oh well, at least if you get this coffin instead of the stupid ring, you won't hate yourself as much when you wake up from the nightmare and regain your logical mind.

Check out other colors and designs here. Go ahead and get whatever you want, but don't lemme find out or you'll get an ice-cold laugh from me.

Be thankful if you're currently happily in love and/or married. You're lucky that's for sure, but not as lucky as her....



Incapable of loving,
aku yg tak insaf